In a recent social media discussion, I came across a post about blue pumpkins, shared by Emma Thompson, a mother of an autistic, non-verbal son. She expressed that her child would carry a blue pumpkin this Halloween to signal that he might not say “trick or treat.” Emma’s aim is to reduce the need for her to explain her son’s situation to every stranger they encounter throughout the night. Her post gained significant traction, receiving over 100,000 shares, and many people are rallying behind her idea.
I can empathize with Emma’s viewpoint. My youngest child is also autistic. While he can speak, he may not say “trick or treat” at every house. We are currently working with him, hoping he will have a successful and enjoyable Halloween experience. However, the truth is, we won’t know how he will manage until the moment arrives.
Parents of children with special needs, like me, are always searching for ways to improve experiences for our kids. Emma’s suggestion stems from a desire to make a single day easier for her child, and I understand that motivation deeply. My heart aches whenever people misinterpret my son’s actions. I want to educate others on the remarkable qualities of my child.
Despite the widespread connection to this idea among parents, we won’t be adopting the blue pumpkin this year or in the future. A few years back, the Teal Pumpkin Project was initiated by Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) to create a safer Halloween for kids with food allergies. Homes displaying a teal pumpkin indicate that they offer non-food treats. The focus here is on the households providing treats, not on the children trick-or-treating.
We participate in this initiative every year, providing both candy and safe, non-food items for children with allergies. To me, the teal pumpkin signifies that the adults have prepared to accommodate kids who may struggle with traditional Halloween treats. It encourages inclusivity without requiring children to disclose their needs.
If someone wants to place a blue pumpkin on their porch to indicate they will be kind to my child, I’m all for it. However, it’s disheartening that a caring mother has to consider ways to encourage kindness during such a joyful event as trick-or-treating.
Why should non-verbal and autistic children have to showcase their diagnoses just to receive a little kindness? It’s unfair and frustrating. The need for blue pumpkins arises because, unfortunately, some people can be unkind to children with special needs.
My children will be using standard buckets, just as they do every year. When our neighbors open their doors, they will see a small, redheaded dinosaur beaming back at them, eagerly awaiting a piece of candy. Whether or not he says “trick or treat,” they will understand why he is there. He should not be expected to perform a routine or carry a blue pumpkin that declares his neurodiversity to receive simple kindness.
If you’re handing out candy this Halloween, just be nice to every child who comes to your door. It’s vital that kindness doesn’t hinge on a child’s ability to verbalize or their choice of bucket color. Kids come in all shapes and abilities, and Halloween is a day for them to express themselves, not to carry labels.
In conclusion, the essence of Halloween is inclusivity and joy. Children shouldn’t have to bear the burden of special identifiers to receive kindness. The bottom line is this: kindness should be universal, and we shouldn’t need designated buckets to remind us of that.
For more insights on creating a supportive environment, check out this blog post. Additionally, for those interested in home insemination resources, Make A Mom provides helpful information, and Johns Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
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