It’s widely acknowledged that public restrooms are among the least desirable locations to consume a meal. So why is it still common for nursing parents to be directed to feed their infants in such unhygienic spaces? The truth is, it’s not a reasonable suggestion.
Reflecting on my own experiences, I recall the first—and last—time I breastfed my child in a public restroom. My daughter was just a few weeks old, and I was excited yet anxious to meet friends for brunch. At that time, I was naive enough to prioritize others’ opinions about public breastfeeding over my own needs and those of my baby. (A crucial lesson for all new parents: prioritize your own needs and your baby’s above all else.)
Initially, the atmosphere was joyful. My baby was adored by everyone around the table. But as hunger set in, the mood shifted. An audible gasp filled the air as someone commented on my daughter’s needs. “Oh no! She’s hungry and you forgot to bring her food,” they exclaimed.
When I explained that I had everything I needed, I was met with the question, “Where will you go to feed her?” Almost immediately, someone suggested the restroom as a suitable option. I felt a wave of discomfort wash over me. I could barely tolerate using a public restroom for myself, let alone for feeding my infant. Yet, there was an implicit expectation in their voices that I should comply. Reluctantly, I left the table, a mix of frustration and embarrassment swirling within me, and headed to the restroom.
Inside a cramped single stall, my only option for a seat was the visibly dirty toilet. It was one of those moments that made me feel inadequate as a nursing mother. If someone had asked me back then, I may not have been able to articulate why being directed to nurse in a restroom was wrong, but I instinctively felt marginalized. There I was, a new mother, banished to a restroom stall.
As I stood there, barely six weeks into motherhood, I found it increasingly difficult to hold back tears. Eventually, I gave in and cried. When I returned to my friends, I didn’t have the courage to discuss what had just transpired. It didn’t matter if they intended to offer options or simply to suggest I go elsewhere; the implication was clear: breastfeeding in public was abnormal and should be hidden away.
One of the most painful aspects of this experience was realizing that people I cared for could make me feel so isolated for choosing to nurse. The emotional scars from that day remain, and the suggestion that nursing parents should use restrooms still infuriates me.
Since then, I’ve become a more assertive advocate for breastfeeding. Feeding in a restroom—unless I am at home and in dire circumstances—is now firmly on my list of “never again.” I am committed to supporting nursing individuals, both personally and through platforms like Home Insemination Kit.
To those who are not nursing parents, here are some important reminders: Nursing is a challenging endeavor. Ensure your loved one is nourished and feels secure; these elements significantly influence milk production and the well-being of the baby. If you find yourself uncomfortable with a nursing parent, it’s best to excuse yourself rather than request they move elsewhere. Remember, in all 50 states, the law supports nursing mothers. It’s a public health issue and a fundamental right. Finally, take a moment to reflect on any biases you may have regarding the act of breastfeeding.
Above all, never tell a nursing parent they must feed in a restroom, closet, or any other secluded space unless they themselves express a desire for solitude. Don’t be the one who pressures a parent into an uncomfortable situation.
In summary, breastfeeding should be a celebrated and supported act, not relegated to filthy restrooms. It’s essential for society to foster an understanding that nursing in public is a normal and necessary aspect of parenting.
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