It was a rare moment. Both of our children had settled down for the night, drifting off easily in their own beds. By 8 p.m., our evening was free of parenting duties and ripe with possibilities. Sure, we could have tackled household chores or caught up on the latest shows in our streaming queue. I could have succumbed to the fatigue of my nearing third trimester and fallen asleep while my partner watched TV solo.
But on this particular night, we decided to prioritize each other. I chose to stay awake with my husband instead of getting an extra hour of sleep. We closed the bedroom door and took our time, savoring the moment together without haste. Afterward, we lay entwined in the sheets, still catching our breath. My husband turned to face me, propping his head on his hand, and asked, “Can I share something with you?”
He knew my answer would be a resounding yes. He could tell me anything.
Gently, he brushed a strand of hair away from my face and continued, “In our previous pregnancies, I dreaded the end. While I was excited to welcome our little ones, I also knew it marked the end of your self-confidence. When you were pregnant, it was like you embraced your worthiness. I always felt a twinge of sadness knowing that once the pregnancy was over, I’d have to reassure you again and tiptoe around your insecurities. I cherished the version of you that emerged during pregnancy.”
He paused for a moment before adding, “But this time, I’m not concerned. You’ve changed so much. You haven’t struggled with self-hatred in a long while. I adore how vibrant and attractive you look while carrying our baby. I’m confident that this newfound love for your body will remain even after she arrives. You finally see yourself through my eyes, and it’s incredibly appealing.”
His words ignited a sense of pride within me. He was right; I had come to love my body in the way he always has. He appreciates me far beyond my physical appearance, and that realization was key in my journey toward self-acceptance.
Everything shifted when I decided to stop viewing my body as an adversary.
While I once engaged in a constant battle with myself, my body was never at odds with me. It existed to serve me, supporting me through joy and sorrow alike. I wasn’t fighting an enemy; I was mistreating a victim.
Despite being healthy, I had subjected myself to self-loathing because I didn’t see my body as a reflection of my worth. It felt alien, leading me to attempt drastic changes that never materialized. Each failed attempt only deepened my self-hatred.
Confronting my biases against larger bodies was essential for my growth. I had internalized the false belief that being fat made me less intelligent and less attractive. Accepting that I had played a role in perpetuating this narrative about myself was painful but necessary.
I shed that toxic mindset and chose to move forward without looking back. I realized that my husband had always adored me, even when I struggled to love myself. He has celebrated every part of me, regardless of my weight fluctuations. I never doubted his love; I just didn’t understand its depth until now.
My body may not resemble a magazine cover, but it has nurtured our children and carries our newest addition. My mind holds his fears and insecurities, which I keep sacred. I made a commitment to be his partner for life, and I have fulfilled that promise. I am a devoted spouse, and it was unjust to view myself as anything less.
This man loves me—mind, spirit, and body. Especially my body.
We have been together from the start. He tells me I’m irresistible nearly every day. While I always believed he thought so, I never grasped what he saw until now.
We revel in each other’s bodies, and I no longer feel the need to apologize for my appearance. I embrace intimacy with confidence; I don’t feel flawed anymore. I deserve the admiration he offers, and he can sense the shift in me.
This transformation has made our intimate life more passionate. The experience is exponentially more fulfilling now that I feel sexy. I used to think things were great before, but the last couple of years have ushered in a new chapter.
We argue less; my happiness has increased. I no longer feel unworthy of the space I occupy. I no longer shy away from experiences because of my size. I’ve stopped hiding my body, whether it be pulling sheets over my stomach or using a pillow as a shield while sitting on the couch. I haven’t engaged in a restrictive diet in ages, and I’m genuinely happier.
He no longer has to find ways to reassure me of my beauty; I now see myself through his eyes. When he spins me around in public just to kiss me, I feel deserving of that affection. I don’t care if others can’t recognize my worth. I see it, and that’s what truly matters.
What began as a quest for self-love has blossomed into something far greater. Immersing myself in body-positive messages has transformed my worldview. I’m a more confident mother, a more self-assured woman, and a better writer.
This journey has made my marriage a happier, more peaceful, and undeniably sexier place to be. Unlearning years of negative messaging about larger bodies has been challenging, but every effort is worth it. I’m genuinely content here.
For more insights on this topic, check out this resource on pregnancy and home insemination.
Additionally, explore this post for more engaging content, and consider this authority on self insemination for further information.
Leave a Reply