47 Hilarious Adult Jokes to Brighten Your Day

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Who doesn’t appreciate a cheeky NSFW joke? When it comes to humor, the realm of adult jokes is undoubtedly king, particularly those centered around intimate encounters. Ranging from playful quips about self-pleasure to juvenile jests about intimate acts, these jokes can provide a good laugh at any gathering. And let’s be honest—there’s no need to feel embarrassed about enjoying a bit of naughty humor. After all, we’re adults, and laughter is a vital part of life, whether it’s in the bedroom or beyond.

If you’re looking to spice up your conversation with a dash of humor, these adult jokes and risqué riddles are sure to keep you entertained throughout the night. And if you’re interested in exploring more humorous content, check out our collections of jokes that touch on various themes like bodily functions or classic dad jokes.

1. What did the clitoris say to the vulva? “We’re all good in the hood!”
2. What did the penis say to the vagina? “Don’t make me cum in there!”
3. Why did the penis lose its mind? Someone was messing with his head.
4. What’s another term for a diaphragm? A trampoline for dicks.
5. What did the banana say to the vibrator? “You’re the one shaking? I’m about to get eaten!”
6. What lubricant does Popeye use? Olive Oyl.
7. Why is Santa’s sack so large? He only comes once a year.
8. What’s better than pansies on a piano? Tulips on your organ!
9. What did the penis say to the condom? “Cover me, I’m going in.”
10. Why is winning the lottery similar to having sex with triplets? With both, you can claim you’ve had six identical balls.

As you can see, the humor continues with playful banter and clever wordplay. Here are some more to keep the chuckles rolling:

11. What did Adam say to Eve? “Stand back. I don’t know how big this thing’s gonna grow.”
12. What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
13. My partner mentioned she always smokes after sex. I suggested we use some lube next time!
14. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? You can unscrew the lightbulb!
15. Why did Popeye punch the Pope? He heard he visited Mount Olive.
16. I just had an intimate encounter in an elevator. It was great on so many levels!
17. What’s the speed limit in bed? It’s 68—after that, you have to turn back around.
18. What did the woman say when her boyfriend cried after sex? “I had you pegged for someone else.”
19. What do you get when you screw a textbook? A D in math!
20. My spouse says if 1,000 people upvote this joke, she’ll consider anal—so don’t vote until Tuesday, she’s out of town!

The fun continues with more light-hearted jokes that delve into the absurdities of relationships and intimacy:

21. After a decade, the police are still chasing the Viagra thief. He’s just so hard to catch!
22. Convincing my partner to try Viagra was extremely challenging.
23. What do you do when you encounter an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.
24. How is military service like receiving oral? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
25. Everybody knows Eve wore a fig leaf. But what did Adam wear? A hole in it!
26. We’ve recently gotten into Tantric sex—it’s been a long time coming!
27. What do bridges and sex have in common? Without a good partner, you better have a solid hand!
28. Life is like a penis—often hard for no reason!
29. Why is a one-night stand like a snowstorm? You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it’ll last.
30. How do long-distance couples stay intimate? They have a sex drive!

And the laughter doesn’t stop there:

31. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? One has drive, the other has a sex drive.
32. I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small.
33. My partner insisted sex is better on vacation—wasn’t the best postcard I ever received.
34. “Want a quickie?” asked the boyfriend. “As opposed to what?” replied the girlfriend.
35. What’s the difference between the G-spot and a woman’s orgasm? Men give up on both.
36. What’s the difference between a microwave and a woman? A man will actually press the buttons and pull the knobs on a microwave.
37. What does the sign on a closed brothel say? “Beat it. We’re closed.”
38. Why do walruses love Tupperware parties? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
39. What do you call two jalapeños getting it on? F*cking hot!
40. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? “Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blowjob.”
41. A daughter asked her mom, “How do you spell scrotum?” Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
42. A man walks into a bar and says, “I slept with my wife before we were married. Did you?” The other man responds, “I don’t know, what was her maiden name?”
43. Two sex workers on a corner chat business. One says, “It’s gonna be a good night; I smell cock in the air.” The other replies, “No, no—I just burped.”
44. A man and a woman start to have sex in a dark forest. After 15 minutes, the man says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!” The woman responds, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
45. A husband should make his wife’s panties wet, not her eyes.
46. A wife should make her husband’s dick hard, not his life!
47. Why do women wear floral panties? In loving memory of all the faces buried there.

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In summary, adult humor can serve as a light-hearted way to engage in discussions about intimacy and relationships. So, whether you’re sharing a laugh with friends or looking to lighten the mood, these jokes are sure to do the trick.