Updated: January 22, 2021
Originally Published: November 8, 2019
It was with my child’s consent that I found myself scrolling through their phone, completely taken aback by the revelations unfolding before me. Alex, a college student, was spending significant amounts of money treating friends to meals and drinks. Pictures captured Alex partying at all hours, sometimes during class. Late-night messages were often incoherent and sent to multiple contacts. Certain applications indicated risky sexual behaviors, while social media posts showcased fabricated conflicts and outlandish tales presented as reality. Alarmingly, hidden among these unsettling updates were posts where Alex expressed suicidal thoughts.
As I browsed through this digital window into Alex’s life, they were in a hospital bed, recuperating from a serious suicide attempt that necessitated weeks of care. The diagnosis that followed was bipolar disorder, likely triggered by stress, sleep deprivation, and substance abuse. Returning to school would not be a possibility for a considerable time.
I don’t attribute their diagnosis solely to the friends who encouraged Alex to party or spend recklessly. What troubles me is why none of those friends stepped up to suggest that Alex seek help or reached out to us or a school professional. I wish I could tell them that what they saw as typical college behavior were actually signs of unhealthy relationships, often exploiting Alex’s mental health struggles.
The behaviors I discovered are far from normal for college students, despite the wild reputation associated with university life. The signals of mental illness were unmistakable. Alex entered college as a shy, diligent student, rarely missing a class or assignment and often stressing over deadlines. Their social media was filled with family photos and inspirational quotes, a stark contrast to the chaos I found later.
These behavioral changes—excessive spending, erratic texting, and shifts in social and sexual conduct—were clear indicators of a struggle with mental health. Yet, it seemed either no one noticed or no one cared enough to investigate further. These changes turned my child into the life of the party, the fun, carefree new student who provided free meals and entertainment. Why would anyone want to change that?
In our family interactions, we recognized the shifts in Alex’s behavior and encouraged them to seek mental health support, even suggesting they come home for inpatient care. However, when Alex relayed our concerns to friends, their responses ranged from “your parents are out of touch” to “we know you better than they do.” Remarkably, individuals who had only known Alex for a short time felt they understood them better than we did.
According to the helpful mental health guide at College Stats, 30% of college students report that mental health issues hinder their educational experience. Fifty percent rate their mental health as less than satisfactory, and only 40% seek help. In contrast, merely 7% of parents believe their college-aged children are experiencing mental health challenges.
As parents, while we guide our teenagers through SAT prep and college applications, it’s crucial to have candid discussions about mental health. We must prepare them to identify signs of mental illness in themselves and others. Major behavioral changes—like excessive spending, irregular sleep patterns, erratic social media activity, and physical complaints—can indicate underlying issues. Our teens should be aware of these warning signs.
The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism notes that excessive drinking, particularly in the early weeks of college, is common but perilous. Neglecting responsibilities in favor of drinking can signal mental health struggles or addiction. It’s essential that teens understand these risks before stepping onto campus.
Furthermore, suicide is the third leading cause of death among individuals aged 14 to 24, with one in ten college students having made a concrete plan for suicide. When I questioned one of Alex’s friends about their reluctance to seek help after seeing suicidal posts, they expressed a belief that Alex’s fabricated tales about family neglect meant their friends could manage the situation. We must educate our teens that they are not equipped to handle threats of suicide alone; professional intervention is necessary.
While a new college friend who is entertaining and carefree might seem appealing, there’s a chance they, like Alex, are battling the onset of mental illness. Teens should be prepared to identify signs that a new acquaintance may require both professional support and familial guidance. They should familiarize themselves with their school’s mental health resources and know how to respond if a friend exhibits suicidal ideation. This knowledge is vital before they embark on their college journey.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the importance of recognizing mental health issues in college students, using a personal narrative to illustrate how a parent discovered their child’s struggles with bipolar disorder. It emphasizes the need for open discussions about mental health and the importance of seeking professional help, while also addressing societal misconceptions about college life.
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