A few years back, I found myself at the park with my toddler after a chaotic day. I had just navigated the morning rush of getting my older child to school, cleaned countless messes, dealt with potty-training challenges, and calmed a series of meltdowns—and, of course, I had failed at getting my little one to nap. By the time we reached the park, I was completely drained. But for the first time that day, my toddler was joyfully playing without needing to cling to me. So, like many modern parents, I took a seat on a bench, exhaled deeply, and pulled out my phone.
In addition to being a mom, I also work as a lactation consultant and writer, which means my work often happens alongside my kids. Many parents find themselves in this situation, struggling to balance childcare costs with the demands of their careers. As my son frolicked at the playground, I split my attention between him and the emails piling up on my phone.
While I was busy responding to breastfeeding inquiries and communicating with editors, an elderly woman strolled past me and remarked, “Parents these days, always on their phones. Pfffffff…” It felt like a direct jab at me.
She moved on with her grandchild, but her comment lingered. Regardless of whether she was specifically addressing me, her words cut deep. In that moment, my eyes burned with tears. I was exhausted, working tirelessly for my family and my career, yet I felt completely unappreciated. This insensitive remark weighed heavily on me, amplifying my internal struggle to be the best parent possible.
Days later, I reflected on that encounter and transitioned from hurt to anger. Who was she to judge my situation? She had no idea what my day entailed or the myriad of responsibilities I was juggling.
This incident resurfaced when I encountered a meme that resonated with my experience: “When you see a mom on her phone, you’re only witnessing a snapshot of her life.” Perhaps that moment was the first time her children were settled or maybe she was simply trying to carve out a second for herself. It’s none of anyone’s business, and passing judgment—let alone voicing it—only hurts mothers everywhere.
As noted by The Leaky Boob, “Phone-shaming is one of society’s favorite ways to shame moms.” It’s time for this to change. Criticizing a mother for using her phone sends a damaging message: that prioritizing her own needs or career is unacceptable. It implies that being constantly attentive to children is the only way to succeed as a parent, which is unrealistic and detrimental.
Consider this: when fathers are out with their kids and check their phones, they rarely encounter the same scrutiny. They are often praised for balancing work and parenting, but mothers face judgment. If you spot a mom on her phone, your best response is to do nothing, offer a friendly nod, or commend her for multitasking. This small gesture is far more beneficial.
Moms need less criticism and more empathy, support, and recognition. So, next time you see a mother managing her responsibilities, take a moment to uplift her rather than judge. For further insights on parenting, you might find this article on home insemination interesting: home insemination kit. Additionally, for authoritative information on this topic, check out Make a Mom. For comprehensive guidance on pregnancy, visit the CDC’s pregnancy resource.
Summary
In a world where mothers are frequently criticized for using their phones, it’s essential to recognize that these brief moments often represent a mother’s attempt to balance work and parenting. Shaming them only exacerbates their struggles and mental health challenges. Instead, we should foster understanding and support rather than judgment.
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