Initially, TikTok seemed innocent. My 11-year-old daughter was among the last in our community to join, and it was delightful to see her practicing and perfecting various dance routines. I thought to myself, what could possibly be harmful about it? It appeared fun, creative, and at least she was being active while using her phone. Play dates became easier, and we enjoyed bonding over her attempts to teach me the latest moves.
However, while she still enjoys the app most of the time, my perspective has drastically changed after logging in as her and following her friends for the past few weeks. I am genuinely alarmed by the potential impact this app could have on my child, and I’m convinced it will affect all children in some capacity.
Many parents might not realize what their children are sharing online. For instance, would you be surprised to discover your daughter is dancing and lip-syncing to songs that include inappropriate language? Or worse, posting content that discusses sexual themes in a troubling way? This is just the tip of the iceberg.
It’s evident that many kids don’t fully grasp the meaning behind the words they use in their posts. One particularly cringeworthy example was a video titled “Skanky Fishy.” I doubt these preteens are aware of the implications of suggesting they have a smelly vagina due to an STD.
The posts about “friend groups” and “besties” may appear harmless to parents, but what if your child believed she was part of that group, only to find out she wasn’t? Seeing multiple versions of the same video can be heartbreaking, especially if she stumbles upon “What about me?” comments, which could deeply affect her self-esteem. This is particularly concerning for children who struggle with friendships, as they are still navigating their social identities.
Additionally, the so-called “bestie” posts pose their own issues. If every child they meet is suddenly a “best friend,” what does that say about their understanding of true friendship? It sets them up for disappointment in the future. The practice of publicly naming and showing pictures of friends also feels insensitive, promoting exclusivity and cliques. A lesson in empathy may be necessary for these children.
Some kids document every moment of their day on TikTok. Beyond the safety concerns, especially if their accounts are public, it raises questions about their motivations. Are they posting due to boredom or seeking validation through likes and attention?
Many children have followers they don’t even know. Have you considered whether your child truly knows hundreds of people? It’s alarming to see names like “busstopwheezel” or “lazybitch” among their friends, and spam messages circulate among them, confusing many. For instance, my child received multiple messages insisting she hadn’t made the “cool list.” This was simply spam, yet how many kids believed it was real?
Let’s not forget the inappropriate content that can easily infiltrate their feeds. Parents must ensure their child’s profiles are private and monitor who they’re interacting with online.
It’s crucial for children to learn early on that they won’t always be included in every social gathering. Every child faces this reality at some point. However, a child who is home alone on a weekend can easily find out what her friends are doing by simply scrolling through TikTok. It cultivates a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) that’s emotionally overwhelming for many young ones.
If you haven’t started preparing for the mental health challenges that may arise, it’s high time to do so. The anxiety and social pressures amplified by apps like TikTok are palpable. The answer is not to eliminate the app—there will always be new platforms. Instead, proactive parenting is essential. Discuss self-control, compassion, and empathy with your child. Familiarize yourself with ways to keep them safe on these platforms, and most importantly, encourage them to understand how their posts might affect others.
For additional insights on parenting in the digital age, check out our post on Home Insemination Kit, which addresses similar concerns in different contexts. You can also learn more about fertility and parenting resources from Make A Mom and ASRM for comprehensive support.
In summary, TikTok presents unique challenges that can significantly impact our children’s social and emotional well-being. As parents, we must engage actively with our kids about their online experiences while promoting healthy relationships and self-awareness.
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