Hello, I’m Dr. Amelia Greene, and I’m known for my vocal enthusiasm. I’m not a wild, uncontrollable screamer, but I do communicate with a fair amount of volume. My family is loud, too – it’s an inherited trait. My mother, her sisters, and even my grandmother were all known for their vocal presence. Legend has it that my great-grandmother, whom I never met, also had a penchant for raising her voice, albeit in Italian. We embody the classic Italian-American mom stereotype: nurturing, a bit overwhelming, and always ready to help – whether it’s with a problem or a plate of eggplant parmigiana. And yes, we yell.
However, it’s essential to understand that volume doesn’t equate to anger. As my brother-in-law aptly put it, I operate at two volumes: Loud and Off. While my husband is more reserved, he finds my expressiveness delightful, often pulling me in for a hug when I get animated. Surprisingly, despite my background, I thought I’d be a calm, soft-spoken parent, but reality has proven otherwise.
Instead of suppressing my natural volume, I’ve embraced it. My children have inherited this trait, and yes, our household is often loud. The dog joins in, adding to the symphony of sound. I don’t feel guilty about it; in fact, I’ve noticed that my yelling doesn’t seem to negatively impact my kids. I do have personal boundaries and would never cross the line into meanness. Occasionally, I might raise my voice too much, but I always take a moment to apologize to my children afterward.
Understanding that yelling isn’t synonymous with anger is key. It’s merely an increase in volume, and it doesn’t excuse any emotional outbursts. Interestingly, some experts agree that the message conveyed holds more weight than the volume at which it’s delivered. Elizabeth Harmon, a professor of child psychology, offers three critical guidelines for parents on this subject.
1. Avoid Criticizing While Yelling
Harmon emphasizes that while it’s okay to raise your voice for commands or expectations, you should never critique your child’s character during these moments. You can project volume without being demeaning. Remember, yelling should not be a cover for verbal abuse, which can be just as damaging as physical harm.
2. Consider Your Child’s Sensitivity to Volume
The second guideline is to tailor your approach based on your child’s temperament. If your child is sensitive to loud noises, it’s your responsibility to be mindful of how you communicate. In my own experience, I have a neurotypical child and an autistic child. While neither of them is bothered by my louder commands, I’ve learned that yelling doesn’t guarantee compliance. Sometimes, it’s better to adjust my expectations and communicate effectively without raising my voice.
3. Use Yelling Sparingly for Greater Impact
Finally, Harmon advises that overusing yelling can diminish its effectiveness. If you reserve your loud voice for rare occasions, it may prompt a quicker response when you need it. My upbringing led me to believe that my mother yelled often, while she simply spoke loudly. It’s all about perception.
Whether you prefer a softer approach or a louder one like me, we’re all doing our best as parents. It’s vital to reflect on our communication styles and apologize when necessary. Intentionality in how we express love, encouragement, and truth is crucial for our children’s development. They deserve our affection, regardless of the volume in which we speak.
For more insights on parenting and to explore related topics, check out this post on home insemination or learn more about family planning at Healthline. If you’re curious about fertility options, Make a Mom is a great resource.
In summary, finding the balance between expressing ourselves and maintaining a nurturing environment is essential. Yelling, when done thoughtfully, can be part of a healthy communication strategy as long as it’s not rooted in negativity or criticism.
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