95+ Hilarious Baseball Jokes and Puns You’ll Love

home insemination kit

Baseball is a beloved game, but even the most dedicated fans can find themselves yawning around the fifth inning, especially during slow moments. To keep the energy up while waiting for that exhilarating seventh-inning stretch, dive into these 100 amusing baseball jokes, puns, and one-liners that are sure to tickle your funny bone.

1. Why does a pitcher lift one leg when throwing the ball? If he lifted both, he’d topple over!
2. Where’s the biggest diamond in NYC? Right at Yankee Stadium.
3. A man leaves his house, makes three left turns, and spots two masked men. Who are they? The catcher and the umpire.
4. Why did the Braves hire a pastry chef? They needed a fresh batter.
5. What encircles a baseball field but never moves? The fence!
6. What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? One steals watches; the other watches steals!
7. When should baseball players wear armor? During knight games!
8. What did the glove say to the baseball? Catch ya later!
9. Where do catchers sit during lunch? Behind the plate.
10. Why is Yankee Stadium the coolest place? It’s packed with fans!
11. Why is it so sweltering at Phillies games? Because there’s not a single fan in sight.
12. Did you hear? Detroit is constructing a new stadium at a secret location. They want to keep it under wraps to prevent the Tigers from showing up!
13. Heard the joke about the pop fly? Forget it, it’s way over your head.
14. What are the rules for zebra baseball? Three stripes and you’re out!
15. I kept wondering why the baseball was enlarging. Then it hit me!
16. An apartment building catches fire, and people are screaming for help. “Just jump out!” yells a man. “I’m a baseball player; I can catch you!” One resident hesitates, “What team?” “The Cincinnati Reds,” he shouts. The resident shrugs, “I’ll take my chances with the fire.”
17. Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team? To add some team spirit!
18. What does a baseball player do when his vision dims? He becomes an umpire!
19. Where do you stash your mitt while driving? In the glove compartment.
20. Which baseball player holds a glass of water? The pitcher!
21. Why do baseball games happen at night? The bats snooze during the day.
22. What’s the difference between Yankee fans and dentists? One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for roots.
23. What has 18 legs and catches flies? A baseball team!
24. I adore fall. It’s the perfect time for watching the World Series—just like the Dodgers.
25. How do baseball players stay connected? They touch base occasionally.
26. What’s the difference between a high-flying baseball and a maggot’s dad? One’s a pop fly; the other’s a fly pop!
27. How long did the baseball player linger in the library? Just five minutes; it was a short stop.
28. Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team? She ran away from the ball!
29. Why did the cop attend the baseball game? He heard someone was stealing second base!
30. Why are frogs exceptional baseball players? They excel at catching flies!
31. A man at a game wondered why the ball kept growing. Then it hit him!
32. Did you hear about the fast pitch? Never mind, you just missed it!
33. Where does a baseball player shop for a new uniform? New Jersey!
34. Why can’t centipedes play on bug baseball teams? It takes too long for them to lace up their cleats.
35. What runs around the baseball field but never moves? A fence!
36. What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire? One steals watches, and the other watches steals.
37. Something to think about: Why do we sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” while we’re already there?
38. How is a baseball team similar to a bakery? They both need a solid batter!
39. When does the Queen enjoy baseball? If it’s a knight game!
40. Which baseball player adored fireplaces? Mickey Mantle.
41. What animal excels in baseball? The bat!
42. What do baseball players dine on? Home plates!
43. Why was Cinderella poor at baseball? She had a pumpkin for a coach!
44. What do you call 40 millionaires watching the World Series? The New York Yankees!
45. What’s the difference between a Royals fan and a baby? Eventually, the baby stops crying!
46. What do you get when you mix a tree with a baseball player? Babe Root.
47. What tools do baseball players use to bake a cake? Oven mitts, bundt pans, and batter!
48. A scout found a horse that was a decent fielder and hit the ball every time. During a tryout, the horse hit a shot to left field and just stood there. “Run!” shouted the manager. “Are you kidding?” replied the horse. “If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby!”
49. Who’s the most famous Los Angeles Dodger? O.J. Simpson.
50. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog and a Fenway Park hotdog? You can buy a Yankee hotdog in October!
51. How many baseball players does it take to change a lightbulb? None; they’re too busy disputing the last call.
52. Why did the cops go to the baseball game? They heard someone was stealing a base!
53. Why can’t you play baseball in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
54. Why is the baseball stadium hot after the game? All the fans have left!
55. What does a baseball player do when he loses his sight? Becomes an umpire!
56. What did the hand say to the baseball? You’re such a catch!
57. Why did the sausage quit baseball? He was the wurst on his team!
58. Why is an umpire like an irate chicken? They both have foul mouths!
59. Did you hear the joke about the baseball? It will leave you in stitches!
60. Two old friends in their 90s reflect on their long friendship. One says, “When you die, let me know if there’s baseball in heaven.” The friend agrees. Days later, he hears his friend’s voice: “Good news! There’s baseball up here.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching Wednesday.”
61. Have you ever seen a line drive? No, but I’ve seen a baseball park!
62. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third? From second to third because there’s a shortstop in between!
63. Where did the baseball player wash his socks? In the bleachers!
64. What do you get when you cross a pitcher with the Invisible Man? Pitching like no one has ever seen!
65. Which superhero excels at baseball? Batman!
66. What cartoon character is the best at baseball? Homer Simpson!
67. What does a baseball player love about the park? The swings!
68. Why are singers good at baseball? They have perfect pitch!
69. What do you get when you mix a baseball player with a monster? A double header!
70. Why don’t baseball players join unions? They don’t like being called out on strikes.
71. Why did the baseball player shut down his website? He wasn’t getting any hits!
72. Why did the baseball player bring a pacifier to the game? He wanted to play like the Babe!
73. Why don’t matches play baseball? One strike and you’re out!
74. Manager: Our new infielder costs $10 million. I call him our “Wonder Player.” Every time he plays, I wonder why I got him!
75. What’s the difference between a boy late for dinner and a baseball hit over the fence? One runs home, the other is a home run!
76. Two teams play a game. The home team wins, but no one touched a base. How? The teams were all women!
77. Where do coal miners play baseball? In the minor leagues!
78. How can you pitch a winning game without throwing a ball? Just throw strikes!
79. Why did the baseball batter go insane? The pitcher kept throwing screwballs!
80. If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be? Five after nine (9:05)!
81. Where does a catcher sit for dinner? Right behind the plate!
82. Did you hear the joke about your pitching style? Never mind, it’s foul.
83. Two guys stroll through hell when it starts to snow. One says, “Well, the Cubs finally won the World Series!”
84. What’s the difference between Yankee fans and dentists? One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for roots.
85. You’re locked in a car with only a baseball bat. How do you escape? Unlock the door, of course!
86. Why couldn’t fans get soda at the doubleheader? The home team lost the opener!
87. Why don’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
88. There was once a pitcher so terrible, the crowd started singing “Take Him Out to the Ball Game!”
89. Why was the mummy sent in as a pinch hitter? The manager knew once the mummy was in, the game would be all wrapped up!
90. One day, the Devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. The Lord smiled, “But you realize we have all the good players, Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, and the best coaches.” The Devil chuckled, “I know, and that’s okay. We have all the umpires.”
91. Which baseball manager was arrested for arson as a teenager? Sparky Anderson!
92. Which baseball player is a fruitarian? Darryl Strawberry!
93. Why did the police arrest the baseball player? He stole third base!
94. What do you get when you mix a baseball pitcher with a carpet? A throw rug!
95. The pitcher was on point today… didn’t miss a bat for three innings!
96. If brownie mix is at first base, pudding at second, and cookie dough at third, who’s at the plate? The cake batter!
97. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Uriah… Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball!
98. Knock, knock… Who’s there? Phillip… Phillip who? Let’s phillip the bases!

For more entertaining content, check out our other posts, like this one at Home Insemination Kit. And for more information on the topic, visit Make a Mom for expert advice. Another fantastic resource is CCRM IVF’s blog, which offers valuable insights into pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, these baseball jokes and puns are a great way to lighten the mood during slow games and share some laughs with fellow fans. Whether you’re at the stadium or watching from home, they will surely add a fun twist to your baseball experience!