Trigger Warning: Child Loss
Despite a healthy pregnancy and following all the recommended guidelines, my twins were born extremely premature at 27 weeks gestation—approximately 90 days ahead of their due date. I never even reached the third trimester. Like many parents of premature infants, I found myself utterly unprepared for our unexpected life in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).
My babies were delivered via emergency C-section and immediately taken to fight for their survival. It was several hours before I was able to hold them. Overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty, I also felt an inexplicable sense of shame. However, it soon became clear to me that I was not the one battling for my life; my babies were. Their organs were immature, their skin delicate, and their tiny bodies were dwarfed by most dolls.
The experience of being a NICU parent is often described as incredibly challenging. Handing over the most basic parental duties to medical professionals can feel disheartening. Pumping breast milk every two hours for months can drain one’s spirit. Navigating the uncertainties of the NICU, where the fate of your child hangs in the balance, is an emotional rollercoaster that weighs heavily on many of us—shame and guilt are common feelings, even when we understand that we are not to blame.
Being a NICU parent is physically and emotionally taxing, but what about the experience of the preemie? What is life like for a tiny infant confined to a sterile plexiglass box, when developmentally they should be nestled in their mother’s embrace?
What is it like to be compelled to breathe, eat, and regulate body temperature before being ready? Preemies exhibit remarkable resilience, yet the hurdles they face are staggering.
I watched my children struggle to breathe. I witnessed the insertion of breathing tubes when they faltered. My heart sank as surgeons took my babies into the operating room, and I clung to hope, praying they would come through. The pain of leaving the NICU each night, knowing I had to wait until morning to see them again, was unbearable.
Thanks to advanced medical technology, my twins had a fighting chance. Level IV NICUs cater to the most fragile infants, utilizing sophisticated interventions and expert care that allow many preemies to survive who would have otherwise not made it.
Being born prematurely exposes infants to a wide range of serious complications. Tragically, 324 days after their birth, my son David succumbed to necrotizing enterocolitis, a severe intestinal disease. In a twist of fate, his twin sister Olivia surpassed expectations and is now a thriving, healthy child. This duality of loss and survival encapsulates the unpredictable nature of prematurity.
November is dedicated to Prematurity Awareness Month. According to the March of Dimes, one in ten babies in the U.S. is born prematurely each year. Just thirty years ago, many very-low-birth-weight infants did not survive, yet today, more preemies are thriving than ever before. You can honor the resilience of preemies and the dedication of their families by recognizing Prematurity Awareness Month and World Prematurity Day on November 17.
The NEC Society, a non-profit organization, is committed to eliminating necrotizing enterocolitis, a devastating condition that affects newborns in their early days and weeks. Infants who are premature or facing medical challenges are particularly vulnerable. For further information on this important cause, visit NECsociety.org.
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Summary: This article chronicles the journey of a mother whose twins were born at 27 weeks, detailing the emotional and physical challenges of being a NICU parent. It emphasizes the resilience of preemies and the advancements in neonatal care that have improved survival rates. The piece also highlights the significance of Prematurity Awareness Month and provides resources for further information on necrotizing enterocolitis and home insemination.
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