The sitcom How I Met Your Mother gave us a memorable ensemble, but none shone quite like the character played by Neil Patrick Harris, Barney Stinson. Although his antics could be quite questionable, he delivered some of the most hilarious one-liners and pick-up lines, all while hiding a surprisingly good heart beneath his suave exterior. If you’re looking for a collection of Barney Stinson’s best quotes, here are over 100 to enjoy.
- “Never mention killing anyone in front of airport security. Just not cool.”
- “Last night’s lady? Well, I brought her home and spun her around this morning. Now she’s lost and there’s no way back for her!”
- “Our forefathers risked everything for the pursuit of happiness. Not to just sit around waiting for it. You can choose to live life boldly or lick the Liberty Bell.”
- “I’ve wanted my own Death Star since I was five.”
- “ARTICLE 41: A Bro never sheds a tear. Exceptions: watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or when a sports legend retires.”
- “There are twenty-four things that girls and fish have in common, but the main one is they both love shiny things. You never read my blog, did you?”
- “Oh, don’t tell me you’re searching for ‘The One’ again, Ted. The only instance of ‘The One’ I want to hear from you is when it’s followed by ‘hundredth.’”
- “Hey Canada! I’m Barney Stinson, and your country needs to step up its currency game and keep women like Robin Scherbatsky from escaping back to America!”
- “The killer in a horror film doesn’t announce his plans with a bullhorn. He doesn’t shout, ‘I’ll jump out and kill you at 3:00’ while revealing his weakness.”
- “Tonight is going to be de—wait for it—lightful.”
Barney had a knack for turning everyday situations into comedic gold, often summarized in articles like this one. His views on relationships and life are both ridiculous and surprisingly insightful.
- “A girl can be as crazy as she wants, as long as she’s equally attractive. If she’s this crazy, she has to be this stunning. It’s the ‘Vickie Mendoza Diagonal.’”
- “Ted, you know what’s hotter than the hottest girl I’ve ever been with? Her friend I haven’t seen naked. Why? Because new is always better.”
- “I can’t believe I’m taking dating advice from Ted Mosby. That’s like asking a cat about dogs.”
- “ARTICLE 54: A Bro must celebrate St. Patrick’s Day and other official Bro holidays like Halloween and Desperation Day (February 13).”
- “I won! I now possess a magic phone that always rings. And guess who’s on the line? A beautiful woman! The number of girls interested in me is now infinite!”
Barney’s humor often touched on deeper themes, such as love and friendship. For further insights into family planning and home insemination, check out this excellent resource that can guide you in your journey.
In summary, Barney Stinson’s quotes blend humor with insightful observations about life and love, making them both entertaining and relatable. His motto of “suit up” and embrace life’s adventures continues to resonate with fans. For those navigating their own paths to parenthood, resources like this one can provide valuable guidance.

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