Navigating the world of social media as a parent of a tween is daunting for numerous reasons. Concerns about online predators, cyberbullying, social dynamics, and sensitive topics that we prefer to discuss later loom large. This landscape is completely new territory for most parents, as we did not grow up with platforms like TikTok, Snapchat, or Instagram. While many parents are still comfortable with Facebook and occasional Instagram posts, the rapid evolution of social media has left us feeling overwhelmed.
To ensure my children are safe online, I maintain access to all their social media accounts through my phone. If I discover any hidden profiles, they risk losing their phones indefinitely. To better understand their online interactions, I conducted a week-long observation of my children, their friends, and the content suggested to them by these apps. The findings were eye-opening:
- One of my children’s friends posted a collage excluding another friend, creating unnecessary drama.
- I caught my partner unknowingly participating in a TikTok that featured inappropriate language while interacting with our daughter.
- My 10-year-old and her friends were found mimicking suggestive gestures while dancing to explicit lyrics.
- A 13-year-old was rapping outside their school with lyrics containing homophobic slurs.
- Disturbingly, my elementary-aged child encountered a video discussing abortion on their For You Page (FYP).
- My 14-year-old son made a post about adult content that was alarming.
These examples paint a picture of the complex social dynamics and inappropriate content our children are navigating daily. Many kids, including mine, post videos that could lead to significant misunderstandings, embarrassment, or even more serious consequences later in life.
After this week of observation, it’s evident that many parents are not engaging with their children about their online behavior. I urge all parents to discuss their children’s social media use openly. Take time to go through their posts, helping them understand potential ramifications that could affect their futures, such as college admissions or friendships. You may be shocked to discover how many accounts your children have, often with names that raise concerns.
Consider spending a day monitoring your child’s TikTok account. I assure you, the insights gained will be invaluable. Social media can have both positive and negative impacts on our children, and it is crucial that we address these issues together.
It’s equally important to discuss the nature of their posts. Ask your child why they chose to share certain content. Sometimes, children may not realize the implications of their actions or the feelings of others who may feel excluded. Encouraging inclusivity can foster a healthier online environment.
Additionally, many children have an alarming number of followers, often from unknown sources. This raises safety concerns, as anyone could potentially access their content. The quest for validation through likes and comments can lead to risky behavior that parents should monitor closely.
To help guide your children on what is appropriate and inappropriate to share, we developed a mantra for our family:
- How would I feel if a teacher or family member saw this?
- Could this post embarrass me in the future?
- Am I revealing my location or sensitive information?
- Will anyone feel hurt or excluded by this post?
- Does this content reflect values I want to promote?
This week, my focus shifted from my children to the broader implications for their generation. Social media is here to stay, and while I don’t have all the answers, I do know that engaging in meaningful conversation about it is essential. For more insights on parenting and social media, check out this blog post.
In summary, it is crucial for parents to maintain an open dialogue about social media, monitor their children’s online presence, and encourage thoughtful sharing practices. The impact of social media on children today is profound, and proactive parenting can help navigate these treacherous waters.
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