For much of my life, I belonged to the camp that believed my green thumb was nonexistent; I would often joke that if I received a houseplant, it would surely meet its demise. Each and every time, any greenery entering my home would ultimately be neglected and left to wither away.
However, a few months back, I made an impulsive decision to purchase several houseplants for my new residence after separating from my partner. While browsing the garden section of a home improvement store, I was seeking a distraction from the turmoil of my day. The vibrant greenery captured my attention, compelling me to bring a few plants home with me.
What Does “Home” Truly Mean?
It’s not merely a physical space, nor is it something that is guaranteed. The concept of home is often more transient than we wish to acknowledge, especially when it comes to our children. As I wandered through the garden section, my vision of home was still evolving. The house I had recently moved into felt right from the very first moment I walked through its door—an older yet sturdy ranch-style home with ample space. Yet, it was still a new chapter.
Interestingly, my new home is just a short drive from the house I shared with my former partner—a place we lovingly decorated and filled with memories as a family. That beautiful, modern house still occasionally flickers through my mind when I think of “home.” It was stunning and minimalist, and I had hoped it would somehow alleviate the feeling of not belonging that I struggled with for years. Now, it’s also my children’s other residence.
Leaving that ideal home was not just a choice; it was a necessity. My decision stemmed from my realization of being gay, yet I grappled with the guilt of being the catalyst for our family’s division. Even though my actions were not rooted in wrongdoing, I was still the one who altered our family structure.
On that day in the garden section, I wasn’t consciously reflecting on all of this. I was simply envisioning how delightful my sunroom would look transformed into a lush, green oasis.
The Need for Joy and Distraction
As any co-parent can attest, a home devoid of children can feel painfully empty. On days when my kids aren’t with me, the absence is palpable. There are no meals to prepare, no bedtime routines to follow, and no homework to check. While solitude can be appreciated, I’d always prefer the company of my children. This realization made it clear that I needed a source of joy and distraction to fill the void when they were away.
So, I returned home with my newly acquired plants, placing them on the sunroom floor, uncertain of their compatibility with the space or whether I had selected the right types. Would three walls of north-facing windows provide enough light? Based on prior experiences, I worried about my ability to keep them alive.
Undeterred by my past failures, I scoured thrift stores for used pots that would house my new green companions. I remained uncertain about whether I was making the right choices; did the pots need drainage holes? Are some of my plants currently suffering because I bought the wrong pots? I had no answers, but they seemed to be thriving for now.
The Therapeutic Benefits of Houseplanting
As I collected more plants, pots, and shelves, I discovered that nurturing these green beings was more than just a way to fill time or a way to satisfy a nurturing instinct. Caring for my plants has proved to be immensely therapeutic. Every evening, as I water them, I feel the tension of the day dissipate. Most of my plants reside on my sun porch, and that’s where I often find myself working on my laptop, surrounded by my leafy friends.
The relief I experience from tending to my plants aligns with various studies that highlight the psychological and physiological benefits of indoor greenery. Research indicates that caring for plants can significantly reduce stress, improve air quality, lower blood pressure, and even increase attention span. While scientific findings are compelling, my growing jungle of houseplants offers enough peace and happiness to inspire me to continue expanding my collection.
My children often join in on the care of our plant family, excited to help water them and discover new additions after their visits with their dad. And on days when they are not here, retreating to my sunroom filled with greenery makes their absence just a bit easier to bear.
Further Reading
For those interested in exploring more about home insemination and related topics, consider visiting this blog post for deeper insights. Additionally, if you’re looking for a comprehensive guide on at-home insemination kits, Make A Mom provides valuable information on the subject. For excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out Hopkins Medicine’s Fertility Center.
Conclusion
In summary, my journey into houseplanting has transformed my home and my emotional landscape, providing both comfort and purpose in the wake of personal upheaval.
Leave a Reply