On my 18th birthday, I made my first foray into body modification by getting a tattoo. I visited the DMV to exchange my learner’s permit for a state ID and then ventured to a nearby tattoo shop located in a strip mall, conveniently sandwiched between a Chinese eatery and a coffee chain.
I wish I could say I had a grand vision or a desire for something extraordinary, but the truth is, I simply wanted a tattoo because my mother was opposed to it. I spent a few minutes browsing through flash designs—those pre-drawn images often featuring cherries, skulls, or cartoon characters—before a burly, bearded man approached me. When I expressed my wish to get a tattoo, I pointed to the first design that caught my eye: a black cross entwined with a yellow rose.
He hesitated, attempting to dissuade me based on two factors: I lacked religious affiliation and I requested that it be placed on my lower back, a spot typically seen only in intimate settings. Fast forward to today, and I’ve transformed into a body modification enthusiast, sporting 14 piercings and numerous tattoos that flow seamlessly together. However, despite my own choices, I have made a conscious decision not to pierce my daughter’s ears.
Yes, the woman with a half-shaved head and colorful hair is choosing not to adorn her toddler with earrings. Family members often ask when I plan to have her ears pierced, expressing surprise that I haven’t done so already. “But with all your piercings and tattoos, we thought you would be all for it,” they say. While I could have easily replied with sarcasm or dismissed their inquiries, I calmly explained that piercing my daughter’s ears is not something I am considering.
Many see it as a no-brainer, given my own modifications, but that is precisely why I feel she should make that choice herself. The decision to modify one’s body should come with age, maturity, and the ability to express oneself, not from parental pressure.
Though my mother pierced my ears as a child using a sewing needle and thread (and sometimes an ice cube), I believe in the importance of consent. All of my body modifications were my own choices, even if some were less than wise. If my daughter expresses a desire for ear piercings at a later age—say 6, 8, or even 10—I will educate her about the process and happily accompany her to a reputable piercing studio, such as one recommended by the Association of Professional Piercers. However, I refuse to impose this decision on her for my own satisfaction.
Piercing her ears serves no cultural significance for me, nor does it provide any medical advantages. I will certainly not pierce her ears merely to spare her from what I perceive to be minor discomfort. While cute stud earrings may be appealing, they won’t bring her joy at this stage; that joy comes from Cheerios, Mickey Mouse, and Elmo.
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In summary, the philosophy of “My Body, My Choice” extends beyond the individual to encompass the choices we make for our children. Allowing them the autonomy to decide on body modifications fosters a sense of agency and respect for their own bodies.
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