In a recent teaching experience, I entered my classroom prepared to discuss audience awareness with my 23 writing students. Almost immediately, I overheard a few of them speaking in hushed tones about someone looking unwell, and it didn’t take long for me to realize they were referring to me. As I settled in and began my lesson, the students awkwardly dispersed, leaving an uncomfortable silence in their wake.
Last semester, during Thanksgiving break, I had contracted a stomach virus, a consequence of the overwhelming stress of my first semester teaching college freshmen while juggling graduate school responsibilities. I was in a constant cycle of developing curriculum, grading, and writing extensive research papers. The illness forced me to slow down, which I interpreted as my body signaling the need for a break.
During my three-day illness, I lost a few pounds, but I didn’t weigh myself; I simply noticed my jeans fitting more loosely. What began as weight loss turned into a trend—despite my attempts to eat regularly. Initially, I received compliments from gym acquaintances who noticed my slimmer figure, asking for my “secret.” However, as the weight continued to drop, those compliments morphed into unsolicited remarks.
One day at the gym, an older gentleman remarked, “Eat a hamburger,” leaving me utterly speechless. I was astonished that someone would feel entitled to comment on my body without understanding my situation.
In my graduate classes, I sensed suspicion from some of my peers. They even followed me to the restroom during breaks, speculating that I was engaging in unhealthy behaviors. A well-meaning professor expressed concern about my weight loss, presuming it was intentional. In reality, my hunger and thirst were relentless, and I was frequently consuming food and water.
I sought help from five different medical professionals, each offering various opinions about my health. Some suggested I increase my calorie intake, while one doctor hinted at anorexia or hypochondria. The truth was, being thin was incredibly distressing for me. The constant commentary about my appearance only exacerbated my struggles with self-esteem, deepening my depression.
One acquaintance even suggested I should “put on some muscle,” a remark that stung deeply. It was a particularly tough spring day when my husband rushed me to the ER, where I learned my blood sugar was dangerously high—signifying undiagnosed type 1 diabetes that had persisted since my illness. Weight loss is a well-known symptom.
After a harrowing five-day hospital stay where I learned how fortunate I was to be alive, I began to regain weight. However, this period was accompanied by a flurry of comments from those around me, often expressing relief that I appeared healthier. Many would say, “You look so much better now,” which illuminated how damaging comments about body image can be. The societal fixation on weight and appearances is toxic—both thin-shaming and fat-shaming can inflict real harm.
Reflecting on my experience, I’ve come to understand the importance of self-acceptance and the need to forgive those who never acknowledged their hurtful comments. While my experience with body shaming was relatively brief compared to others, I empathize with those who face such scrutiny throughout their lives. The pressure to conform to societal beauty standards is exhausting for women of all shapes and sizes. Sometimes, we just want to enjoy life without the weight of others’ judgments hovering over us.
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In summary, my journey through illness and the subsequent body shaming I experienced highlights the damaging impact of unsolicited comments on one’s self-esteem and mental health. It’s crucial to foster an environment of understanding and acceptance rather than judgment.
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