In a bustling checkout line, I am doing my best to manage my energetic toddler while keeping my other children close. Amidst the chaos, a woman behind me initiates a conversation, smiling as she mentions, “I adopted a cat last year. Isn’t adoption wonderful?” Instantly, I feel the urge to react—did she really just equate bringing a pet into her home with my children’s adoptions?
This isn’t an isolated incident; it’s a recurring theme in our lives. The notion that rescuing an abandoned animal—by filling out some forms and paying basic fees—can be compared to the complex process of adopting a child is simply not valid. It is a vast oversimplification.
I fully appreciate that some individuals choose to welcome pets into their lives instead of having children. This choice is completely valid and deserves respect. However, equating the laborious, often costly, and emotionally charged adoption journey of a child with the act of selecting a furry companion is utterly inappropriate.
Moreover, the misunderstandings don’t end there. Given that my kids are black and I am white, we often attract unsolicited comments and questions from strangers in various settings—airports, libraries, stores, and parks. Some people approach us with an eagerness that suggests their curiosity is urgent. They ask whether my children are “real” siblings, why we didn’t have biological kids, and even how much the adoptions cost. We’ve been subjected to suggestions that it’s only a matter of time before I become pregnant since we’ve adopted. It never ends.
In the lead-up to the holiday season, the casual use of the term “adoption” becomes even more frustrating. Just recently, a woman in a local mom’s group expressed excitement about “adopting” elderly individuals for Christmas. Curious, I discovered that her version of adoption involved buying gifts for nursing home residents. While this initiative is commendable—spreading cheer to those who may not receive gifts—why choose the word “adoption”?
I am well aware that the dictionary definition of adoption encompasses more than just the legal process of becoming a parent. However, when we dilute the significance of adoption for the sake of positive vibes, it diminishes its true meaning.
During the holidays, companies often leverage the term “adoption” in their marketing strategies. For instance, stores prominently feature “Adoption Center” signs for Elf on the Shelf merchandise, allowing customers to “adopt” elves for their homes. Similarly, our zoo once sent us a flyer inviting us to “adopt” a penguin by donating money, which would earn us a stuffed animal and stickers, not the actual penguin.
Furthermore, initiatives like “angel” trees that encourage people to “adopt” families in need are heartwarming. While I fully support the idea of purchasing gifts for those in need, using the term “adoption” to describe this act is misleading.
Adoption is a profound commitment, one that involves a lengthy and often challenging process. From background checks to home inspections, the path to finalizing an adoption can span months or even years. It represents a permanent bond, filled with complexities, joys, and sorrows.
The reality is that adoption is not a fleeting feel-good moment suitable for social media. It is imperative to recognize the needs of others, whether they are animals or people. Everyone has their own causes they wish to support, and that’s wonderful. However, calling these actions “adoptions” is not accurate.
I encourage those who use the term “adoption” inappropriately to take a moment to consider its true significance. Rather than applying the word to every good deed, perhaps we should use language that accurately reflects our actions. You’re not adopting a pet, an elderly individual, or supporting a project—you’re rescuing, assisting, or financially contributing.
For further insights on adoption and family-building journeys, check out this related blog post that discusses the nuances of family creation. Additionally, if you’re looking for reliable resources on fertility and insemination, this site offers valuable information. For a comprehensive overview of fertility topics, visit Medical News Today.
In summary, it’s crucial to recognize the distinction between adopting a child and other forms of caring or supporting those in need. Using “adoption” incorrectly diminishes the significance of what it truly means and the lives it affects.
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