I Need More Than Just A Bubble Bath

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I Need More Than Just A Bubble Bath

by Samantha Green

Updated: Dec. 5, 2023

Originally Published: Dec. 5, 2023

As a working mother of young children, my nights are often disrupted by little ones clustering around me at unpredictable hours. When one child stirs, it can set off a chain reaction that leads to an early start to the day. Just thirty minutes after settling in, the alarm clock goes off (co-sleeping wasn’t my choice; it chose me). Mornings can either be peaceful or erupt into chaos long before dawn.

My mornings are consumed with feeding, dressing, and brushing the teeth of my children, leaving me with little time for what I’d call “self-care,” which usually consists of brushing my own teeth and hurriedly gathering the essentials to get everyone out the door. After a long day, I navigate the dense traffic that leads into the evening’s dinner chaos. Is it just my kids, or do all children seem to despise dinner? The day winds down into a flurry of bedtime stories, the occasional bath, pajamas, another round of teeth brushing, and the chores that keep our home functional. By 9 p.m., the kids are finally asleep, and the house is somewhat in order.

But what comes next?

Parenting magazines and blogs often refer to this time as the coveted hour of “me” time, ideal for sipping wine, soaking in a bubble bath, or indulging in mindless television. Is this when Pinterest projects come to life in other households? For me, it feels insufficient, and I believe it’s crucial to address this before we mothers lose ourselves in the whirlwind of caregiving.

I realize that with my children mostly sleeping through the night, I’m no longer too exhausted to acknowledge my own needs. I feel restless, invigorated, yearning for depth beyond the surface of daily life. Bubble baths are merely a temporary fix for a persistent wound; I require meaningful “me” time to nourish my spirit after the relentless cycle of adulthood and parenting. I’m navigating a new phase of life and need space to rediscover my identity from this fresh perspective. I don’t just want to immerse myself in the latest bestseller; I aspire to create my own.

Articulating the sensation of being in the zone is challenging. I miss the joy of diving deeply into a project that leaves me fulfilled and driven. The pleasure of engaging in activities I love without constantly glancing at the clock is something I long for. I’m reclaiming my “me” time in ways that resonate with my spirit, and here’s how:

1. Stealing Sleep (A Risky Business)
   Toni Morrison would rise before her children to write. As a night owl, I often find myself awake too late. However, sacrificing sleep from either end of an already short day is precarious. Maintaining a successful household is like balancing a tower of cards; removing sleep from the base can lead to burnout. I’m striving for balance, even if some nights I’m intentionally taking risks.
2. Time Away from Work (When Possible)
   My days are filled with professional responsibilities and motherhood, so carving out personal time often means pulling from one of these commitments. Have you ever taken a vacation day just for yourself? I’m planning to do just that. While I often take time off for sick kids or unexpected school closures, I’m learning to schedule personal time away from work, treating it like any other important appointment. My soul needs nourishment, and yes, I do need to fit in that dental cleaning too.
3. Time from Parenting (Battling the Guilt)
   The workday stretches long, and weekends blur into a whirlwind of activities. Taking time away from my children is the hardest for me due to the guilt of not spending enough time with them. Nevertheless, I’m deciding to prioritize myself guilt-free. Before becoming a parent, I had all this time to myself. Now, I’m reclaiming a small portion of it. One night a week, I don’t see my kids. There, I’ve said it. On Fridays, I stay late at the office to wrap up my week and then indulge in a restorative yoga class. Alternatively, you might consider visiting a friend who can offer you a quiet space to unwind. Some weekends, I’ll find a coffee shop to write or take solitary walks to reflect. You deserve to claim your time, even if it’s just once a week. In reality, you deserve much more, as parenting is a demanding job, but I understand that finding alternative caregivers can be challenging.

To all the parents of infants, you are navigating a unique level of exhaustion, but trust that you will emerge from it. Amidst the chaos of diapers, bottles, and nightly wake-up calls, don’t forget to check in with yourself. You need this time, and the world deserves your brilliance. All the hard work you invested in your education and career, and the passions that ignite your spirit, whether it’s art, sports, or meaningful conversations with friends, should not be forgotten. Your essence is still there, waiting for the time it needs to flourish—far beyond a bubble bath. Remember to prioritize yourself first. Your light is invaluable, and it’s never too late to let it shine.

For a deeper exploration of personal care, you can read about it in our other blog post here. Additionally, resources like this can provide further insights into pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re looking for a reliable tool, check out this authority on the subject.

Summary:

This article emphasizes the importance of self-care for busy working mothers who often find themselves overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood and professional life. It explores the necessity of reclaiming personal time, whether through sleep, work, or parenting, and encourages mothers to prioritize their own identities and passions. True self-care extends beyond simple pleasures, highlighting the need for deeper fulfillment and personal growth.