Not every mom feels the need to post an emotional farewell to childhood on social media.
Last year, when my eldest started kindergarten, I found myself sitting in the parking lot on that first day, and surprisingly, I didn’t shed a tear. I had thought about crying, especially when I noticed other moms wiping their eyes in the classroom and hall as we left. I tried to muster an emotional expression but honestly, I just wanted to get out of there.
As I sat there, I felt somewhat inadequate. Should I be crying? Did I want to? Was there something wrong with me? After some soul-searching, I realized I only felt relief. So, I pushed those thoughts aside, grabbed a coffee, headed home, and got back to work.
This year was no different; I didn’t cry as my kids stepped into first grade and pre-k. I find no tears for graduations or birthdays either. Instead, I feel a sense of relief. Each passing year signifies slightly easier days ahead. My kids can now put on their own shoes and rinse their dishes. I can even sneak away for a moment of privacy in the bathroom. Sure, I reminisce about their chubby little wrists, but oh, how I cherish those full nights of sleep.
Every autumn, there’s a flood of sentimental blog posts and photos of kids holding signs, expressing disbelief at how quickly time is flying by. While mothers should absolutely feel free to express their emotions however they see fit, the excessive sentimentality surrounding back-to-school time often feels more like a cultural expectation that upholds restrictive ideas about motherhood.
No other role, not even fatherhood, gets so tightly woven into the emotional fabric of human relationships. Many of my friends have left their jobs, claiming that home life is more gratifying and that raising children is their most important job. While that may be true for them, they often receive accolades for their selflessness. However, there’s no recognition for those, like me, who find fulfillment outside of motherhood. There aren’t any congratulatory cards for achieving a career goal, and there are no celebrations when you pursue your dreams outside the home.
But let’s not create a divide between those who feel sadness over their kids growing up and those who don’t; life isn’t that straightforward. Both emotions can coexist. Anyone who hasn’t nostalgically recalled a baby’s warm embrace while trying to reason with a first grader about appropriate language can throw the first stone. However, these rituals of grief surrounding back-to-school often stem from the societal pressure that ties our identities to motherhood instead of who we are as individuals.
Before I had kids, I loved the back-to-school routine, and now, I still cherish it. It signals a new beginning, with fresh skills and newfound freedoms for both me and my children. It’s also a profound privilege to witness my kids learning and growing, and I look forward to the day they can whip up dinner for me.
In this post, I explored the bittersweet emotions surrounding children growing up. If you want to read more about the joys of parenting and family dynamics, check out this engaging post here. For those considering starting or expanding their families, visit Make a Mom for the top home insemination kits available. Another excellent resource for pregnancy information is March of Dimes, which can assist you through your journey.
Summary
This article reflects on the author’s feelings about their children growing up, emphasizing that not all parents feel sadness during these milestones. The author embraces the relief that comes with each passing year, recognizing the new skills and independence gained by their children. The piece challenges societal expectations of motherhood and celebrates the joys of family life while providing resources for those considering family planning.
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