Updated: June 17, 2021
Originally Published: Dec. 9, 2019
For as long as I can remember, I have inhabited a larger body. If you share this experience, we likely resonate on several levels. Today, I want to discuss some vital considerations for those of us in larger bodies as we navigate the complex landscape of self-acceptance and body positivity. I believe we have the potential to enhance our dialogue and support one another more effectively.
For the majority of my first three decades, I struggled with my size. Truthfully, I still encounter days when negative thoughts about my worth creep in. However, in recent years, I’ve radically shifted my perspective on my body. I’ve come to realize that my happiness and health far outweigh societal ideals concerning size and shape.
A significant part of this journey involved addressing my own internalized biases towards larger bodies. This realization was painful, yet necessary. Acknowledging the disdain I held towards fat bodies forced me to confront uncomfortable truths. Through intentional efforts, I began to reshape my perceptions of weight and body image.
Many of us carry outdated notions about the acceptability of different body sizes that must be examined—now. This isn’t solely our fault; we’ve been submerged in a culture obsessed with dieting and “wellness” for far too long. However, we must take responsibility for evolving our mindset.
You might hold onto beliefs about a hierarchy of body sizes, assuming that smaller, more proportionate individuals are inherently more desirable. Do you impose unspoken standards on how large someone can be and still be seen as attractive? Do you believe health can be assessed solely through appearance? If a person of size reports good health, do you secretly question that? These biases can cloud our ability to view ourselves and others as whole, beautiful beings.
It’s time to release these harmful notions. We need to dismantle the obsession with thinness as a prerequisite for health and beauty, rejecting the idea that health equates to worth. Not everyone can achieve good health, regardless of body size. Some individuals will always contend with illness, and they too deserve a place in conversations about self-love and acceptance.
I can’t envision a future where I return to viewing bodies through a lens of hierarchy. I feel liberated from that mindset, and I’m grateful for my new perspective. It’s more peaceful here; I no longer see my body as inferior to thinner bodies.
Everyone deserves the right to live joyfully in their own skin. If we, as individuals in larger bodies, limit our view of others based solely on their size and shape, we’re no better than the societal messages that constantly undermine us.
That said, I recognize that feeling comfortable in one’s body can be easier for some. It’s undeniable that certain bodies—typically cisgender, white, thin, and athletic—receive validation effortlessly. I understand the frustration of including such privileged bodies in the body positivity conversation. However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that many bodies are celebrated simply for existing.
Sometimes, to maintain my own sense of worth, I need spaces that focus exclusively on fat bodies. This isn’t just okay; it’s necessary. Those of us who have faced similar struggles deserve a space where our experiences take center stage. In fat-positive spaces, it’s appropriate to celebrate larger bodies without having to affirm that thin bodies are valid too. We need that time.
However, we must distinguish between solidarity and toxicity. We, as advocates for body positivity, need to be wary of becoming dismissive or harmful, disguising negativity as community support.
Yes, it’s vital to declare, “Fat bodies deserve happiness!” We are often marginalized and undervalued. We can proudly proclaim our existence. But as we work towards acceptance in our fat bodies, we must also extend a hand to those in thinner bodies. “Come join us; we recognize your struggles too.” Including others in our conversations doesn’t dilute our message; rather, it fosters a broader understanding of body positivity.
Finding peace in our bodies looks different for everyone. I’ve had to shift my mindset, while others may feel the need to alter their bodies. If someone decides they need to make changes to feel comfortable, I wholeheartedly support that. You want to adjust your size? Go for it, friend. Just remember, your worth is inherent, regardless of that scale or clothing size. Nourish yourself with foods that sustain you, engage in joyful movement, and embrace the changes your body may undergo.
Fat individuals are perfectly positioned to challenge unrealistic body expectations. We are the experts in dismantling these damaging standards. Yet, we must extend our message beyond just “Our fat bodies are worthy.” We need to affirm, “All bodies are worthy!”
And we must truly believe that. All bodies: fat, thin, so-called “ideal” bodies, post-pregnancy bodies, trans bodies, bodies that are changing in size, whether growing or shrinking, healthy bodies, chronically ill bodies—all of them deserve celebration and validation.
If we fail to create space for all types of bodies, our advocacy for body positivity lacks substance. Let’s ensure our movement encompasses everyone.
For further insights on this journey, check out resources like American Pregnancy for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re seeking fertility assistance, Make A Mom is an excellent authority on the topic.
In summary, embracing all bodies is essential for true body positivity. We must create inclusive spaces that honor every individual’s journey and celebrate the diversity of the human experience.
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