Around the time my children were born, I took a significant leap into self-employment. Initially, I was filled with enthusiasm about leaving my full-time job to work from home. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to balance my professional ambitions with my new role as a mother.
With my kids born a mere 15 months apart, managing a commute was simply unfeasible. After the birth of my daughter, I inadvertently started a résumé writing business, and through persistence, it grew into a viable option after my son arrived. However, just as I was contemplating my return to work when my son was four months old, he fell ill with bacterial pneumonia, leading to a four-day hospital stay. It was during that distressing time, while sitting in his hospital room, that I decided to fully embrace my new self-employed journey. Thankfully, my partner, Alex, was incredibly supportive, understanding that I have a strong drive to succeed.
The last decade has been a whirlwind. Navigating taxes is a daunting challenge, and the uncertainty of fluctuating income is difficult to articulate, even for someone like me who can usually express feelings with ease. I’ve faced countless sleepless nights and considered returning to a traditional job during slower periods.
As a work-at-home mom, I experience a unique blend of guilt. I’m physically present at home, often going days without stepping outside. My children take the bus to school, I maintain a disciplined workout routine at home, and my office is conveniently located next to the laundry room. On the surface, I’m deeply involved in my kids’ lives.
Yet, behind that façade lies a constant, overwhelming guilt for the moments I miss. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve either raised my voice, shushed, or ignored my children when they reached out to me, all because I was racing against a deadline or responding to a potential client. I’ve shed tears over not being able to take them on outings during their breaks, knowing that when you’re self-employed, no one compensates you for time off.
Ironically, as a career coach and résumé writer, you might assume I have it all figured out. While I genuinely appreciate the flexibility my career provides, I often find myself envying friends who have opted for traditional jobs. They’re edging closer to retirement, enjoying benefits that come with years in a company, including the luxury of long vacations with out-of-office notifications.
In the spectrum of motherhood, we all deal with distractions. We’re imperfectly perfect, teaching our children how to navigate life while modeling our own sometimes flawed coping mechanisms. One of the hardest lessons for me has been to cultivate gratitude. It’s not just about jotting down three things I’m thankful for, but truly embracing that sense of gratitude even when everything feels askew. I remind myself of my blessings—my health, my children—and the fact that these are not guaranteed.
As I’ve worked with women across various career stages, I’ve witnessed the struggles of female executives prioritizing careers over family events, single mothers whose children take on adult responsibilities, and those who sacrificed their careers for motherhood and are now grappling with their relevance in the current job market. Behind every smile is a story, and every perfectly organized birthday party may conceal feelings of inadequacy.
I wish I had all the answers. What I’ve gleaned from my own journey and the experiences of many mothers I’ve encountered is that we often feel someone else has it better. We all share the same doubts, whether you’re the mom in heels at the school pickup or the one in yoga pants who forgot to send in library books on media day. We’re all doing our best, and that effort is enough.
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Summary
Being a work-at-home mom can be challenging. While it offers unparalleled flexibility, it often comes with guilt and uncertainty. Balancing work and family life is a complex journey, with many mothers feeling they are constantly juggling their responsibilities. The key is to recognize that each of us is doing our best, regardless of the challenges we face.
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