I’ll be honest: I have a passion for skincare and haircare that I don’t feel the need to hide. Just last night, while enjoying a glass of wine with a friend, I couldn’t help but rave about a rose oil lotion that visibly tightened my skin. My friend, however, wasn’t particularly interested, but my enthusiasm was hard to contain.
As I painted my nails, she teased, “I’m worn out just listening to you talk about all this! Doesn’t it tire you out?” Despite our differences, we share a deep bond.
Growing up, I would sneak my mother’s Oil of Olay cream after my baths. The scent still lingers in my memory, as I applied it meticulously following the upward strokes I learned from her Redbook magazines. This ritual was my first taste of self-care and empowerment, making me feel accomplished and loved—a rarity in my childhood.
I engage in these routines not to meet others’ expectations but because they bring me joy. I would rather splurge on a facial or a hair appointment than on luxury cars or pricey gym memberships because these experiences uplift me in ways those material items never could.
Now, in my mid-40s, I cherish these self-care rituals like a child clings to a favorite blanket. Yes, I try every anti-aging product I can afford because they make me feel good. I’ve often been questioned about my efforts to maintain my youth, but that’s not my intent. It’s about investing in myself, which boosts my confidence and, in turn, makes me a better parent—just ask my three teenagers who notice my mood shifts when I haven’t taken the time for myself.
Let’s be clear: it’s my body, my choices. I determine how much time and money to devote to caring for myself. My friend opts out of spending on under-eye creams or hair color, and that’s perfectly valid. What matters is how we feel about ourselves, and our choices should be respected.
If you want to get a neck lift to boost your confidence, go for it! If you love your natural look and wouldn’t consider cosmetic enhancements, that’s equally valid. We teach our children the importance of kindness and that true beauty comes from within. I wholeheartedly believe that, but I also recognize the significance of personal happiness. I feel my best after a fresh haircut or a little Botox to soften my wrinkles. I enjoy long baths and applying skincare products; these moments rejuvenate me after a long day of parenting and managing life’s stresses.
Many times, the anticipation of an evening spent pampering myself with skincare has been my motivation to power through the day. If you have a self-care routine that makes you feel radiant, that’s reason enough to embrace it. Conversely, if spending time on beauty treatments feels draining, then don’t feel pressured to do so. Your body, your choice.
Ultimately, let’s skip the judgment about others’ choices regarding their appearance. Each person has their own journey. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m heading off for a treatment that will remove some dead skin from my face. I’ve been looking forward to it all day, and it’s the only thing keeping me from losing my cool over my son’s latest episode of making obnoxious jokes in gym class.
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Summary
Embracing self-care is a personal choice that enhances confidence and well-being. Each individual’s approach should be respected, whether it involves beauty treatments or a preference for natural looks. Ultimately, investing in oneself is about happiness and fulfillment, regardless of societal expectations.

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