Lifestyle
I’m diving right into this, because the burden of my truth has become far too heavy to carry any longer. For over two decades, I’ve harbored a significant secret that only a select few are aware of. So, here it is: My name is Sarah Collins, and I identify as bisexual.
Let me say that again—it feels incredibly liberating to express this! I, Sarah Collins, am attracted to both men and women. In all honesty, I’ve always believed that love and attraction aren’t confined by gender. This realization has led me to embrace the label of bisexuality, which resonates with my experiences.
This marks the first time I’m openly discussing my bisexuality, so consider this my official coming out. Thank you for being here and offering your support as I share my journey.
Since my teenage years, I’ve had feelings for girls, but I didn’t fully recognize them as attraction until a dare led to a kiss with a close friend during high school. I was around 16, and she was one of the most popular girls in school. That kiss was soft and sweet, and I didn’t want it to end. Yet, I awkwardly pulled away, pretending it didn’t mean much.
Unfortunately, that moment was tainted by a peer who chose to gossip about it the next day in class, leading to a wave of ridicule and tears. My English teacher made him apologize, but I longed for the moment to be forgotten.
My younger brother also began to notice my changing style, teasing me for appearing more ‘stereotypically’ lesbian. In response, I shifted my wardrobe to fit in better.
At night, I found solace in being myself. I would stay up late, watching films that portrayed same-sex relationships, like If These Walls Could Talk Too and But I’m a Cheerleader. Angelina Jolie captivated me; I plastered my walls with her pictures, and while my mom thought it was just admiration, it was much more than that—it awakened feelings I had long suppressed.
I imagined that college would be my chance to explore my sexuality fully, hoping to hit up gay clubs and meet like-minded friends. At that point, I was also attracted to boys, largely due to societal expectations. But my feelings for girls felt like a hidden treasure I wasn’t allowed to explore.
Then, unexpectedly, I fell in love with my first husband just months into college. This complicated my journey as I navigated a long-term relationship while also engaging in drunken escapades with women. My boyfriend, despite his confusion, supported my exploration, even joining in at times.
However, this authenticity came at a cost. After a summer of personal growth and a bold new look, I attempted to come out to my siblings. My mom abruptly interrupted, launching into a tirade filled with hurtful comments. That day led me to leave my childhood home and cease discussing my attraction to women, eventually marrying my college sweetheart.
After my divorce four years later, I felt liberated yet terrified to embrace my identity. I wanted to date again but was paralyzed with fear when potential connections arose.
Eventually, I met my current husband, Jake, and we now share two young children. As a stepmom to his teenage daughter, I initially felt pressured to suppress my bisexuality to fit the mold of what others expected of me.
However, when a younger family member began questioning their own identity, I knew I had to be honest with both myself and Jake. After open conversations, he accepted my bisexuality, even joining in on my celebrity crushes, which now include Lizzo and Scarlett Johansson.
I am Sarah Collins, and I am officially an out and proud bisexual woman. If you’re reading this and haven’t yet embraced your own identity, know that I understand how difficult that can be. The world often sends messages that it’s not okay to be oneself. But after facing significant challenges, I refuse to live another day in hiding. I’m ready to be my true self, and it’s a wonderful feeling.
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In summary, my journey of self-acceptance has been a long and winding road, filled with both joy and pain. But now, I feel empowered to openly share my truth.
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