A recent post on Reddit’s “Am I the Asshole” subreddit has sparked a lot of discussion, particularly for the unfortunate circumstances surrounding a father and his daughter. The story begins with a father who expresses concern over his daughter’s weight, noting she is 19 years old, approximately 5’4”, and weighs around 155 pounds. This puts her just shy of what many might consider an “ideal” weight for her height, but it’s crucial to recognize that everyone’s body is different and what’s healthy varies from person to person.
For her 19th birthday, he decided to take her hiking, which he framed as a bonding experience. However, he felt compelled to mention that his wife also struggles with her weight. The daughter, understandably, was less than enthusiastic about the hike, complaining about the heat, the steepness, and even the mosquitoes. Despite her discomfort, the father insisted on continuing, believing she would appreciate the exercise afterward.
After their hike, the daughter expressed a desire to stop at a Dunkin Donuts for a celebratory treat. However, the father refused, claiming that he didn’t want her to “undo” the effort she had put into exercising. His argument focused on the caloric content of the treat, suggesting it wouldn’t fit into her daily intake, especially since she’d likely be eating cake later. When they returned home, the daughter voiced her frustration to her mother, who sided with her and criticized the father’s approach.
This situation is troubling on multiple levels. For starters, it was her birthday—a special occasion where indulging in a treat is typically expected. The daughter’s knowledge of the donut’s calorie count indicates a concerning awareness of food and body image, which could hint at disordered eating patterns. It’s clear that this father’s rigid views on health and fitness are impacting his daughter negatively, overshadowing the joy of her special day.
The online community has largely condemned the father’s behavior, with many comments highlighting how inappropriate it was to prioritize exercise over his daughter’s enjoyment on her birthday. One top comment bluntly stated, “You forced your daughter into an activity I suspect you knew she would not enjoy, and then denied her a 75-cent treat.”
This story serves as a reminder of the importance of supporting loved ones in a compassionate way, especially during personal milestones. It’s essential to promote healthy habits without shaming or restricting enjoyment, especially when it comes to food.
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In summary, this father’s actions on his daughter’s birthday have raised significant concern, highlighting the need for empathy and understanding in parenting, particularly regarding body image and health discussions.

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