Trigger warning: loss of a child
On December 11th, my son Ethan passed away due to complications from necrotizing enterocolitis, a severe intestinal condition. That day was a turning point, leaving me breathless and lost, grappling with the unimaginable reality of life without him. While my heart ached, the world continued to move forward. I realized I needed to find a way to transform this overwhelming grief into something meaningful.
Since Ethan’s passing, my desire to honor his joyful spirit has eclipsed my feelings of guilt, regret, and anger. Ethan had a radiant smile that lit up the darkest days. Approaching the first anniversary of his death, I felt an urge to create a tradition that would allow those who loved him to come together in celebration and remembrance. As I reflected on cherished moments with Ethan, particularly the times I carried him in vibrant rainbow-patterned carriers, I decided we would hold an event named “Rainbows to Remember Ethan” each December 11th.
This event serves to reframe a day that could easily be filled with sorrow into a celebration of life. Instead of isolating ourselves in grief, we invite friends and family to join us in creating rainbows and engaging in acts of kindness in Ethan’s name. Each year, the rainbows we make are breathtaking and offer solace as we navigate the anniversary of his passing.
“Rainbows to Remember Ethan” is also a day dedicated to giving back, reflecting the joy Ethan brought into our lives. During his time, he required 211 units of blood, so we honor him by donating blood on this day. Knowing that human milk can significantly reduce the risks associated with necrotizing enterocolitis, I donated 3,000 ounces of my breast milk over the six years while nurturing Ethan’s brothers. Since Ethan was often too ill for physical contact, we bonded by reading stories, which led us to donate new children’s books to families in neonatal intensive care units on this special day.
Every year on December 11th, we create rainbows, offer support to others, and relish the memories captured in photos and videos of Ethan. We share laughter and tears as we celebrate the boy who would be playing with his brothers and dogs in the backyard. While the pain of loss remains, this tradition allows us to channel our grief into something positive and impactful. The love and support from our community during “Rainbows to Remember Ethan” remind us that we are not alone in our journey of love and grief.
In this way, the act of remembering and celebrating our son becomes a powerful reminder of the connections we share and the love that endures.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the personal journey of honoring a child’s memory through a unique tradition called “Rainbows to Remember Ethan.” It highlights the importance of community support, acts of kindness, and transforming grief into positive actions, while also providing links to valuable resources on home insemination and fertility.
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