Ten years ago, a friend of mine launched her own hair salon, hiring two other stylists. She enjoys the freedom to set her own schedule, typically working just three days a week. This allows her to participate in her children’s school activities and manage household tasks. With nearly two decades of experience in hairstyling, she earns a comfortable living—all without stepping foot in a college classroom. Her education came from cosmetology school and practical experience.
The persistent belief that young people must attend college to achieve success is both misleading and harmful. This notion is also deeply rooted in privilege, as enrolling in college—and completing a four-year degree—often requires substantial support and resources.
From a young age, children are often asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their answers can be imaginative and whimsical, ranging from nacho testers to professional gamers. However, by the time they reach high school, particularly their junior and senior years, they are pressured to make decisions that will define their futures.
The societal expectation seems to be that students will excel in standardized tests, apply to colleges, select one, and dedicate four to eight years to earning a degree or multiple degrees. The assumption is that this will lead to a fulfilling career and a fairy-tale ending.
In reality, many students do not resonate with this narrative, and that’s perfectly acceptable. Unfortunately, this often isn’t recognized, especially when parents push for alternative routes.
As a parent, I can empathize with the desire to see children graduate from college. In my family, I was among the first to earn a degree, alongside my younger sister. Achieving this required immense dedication, balancing three jobs to finance my education while commuting daily.
However, it was during my time as a college instructor that I became acutely aware of the shortcomings in the belief that a degree is the only route to success. Throughout my nine years teaching, I observed many freshmen struggling with coursework. During initial conferences, students would enter my office, overwhelmed and avoiding eye contact, sharing a familiar tale: they had no genuine desire to attend college, but felt compelled by parental pressure.
Many students juggled part-time jobs and social lives while desperately trying to keep up academically. When I posed the question that often went unasked by their parents—what did they truly want?—the responses revealed a different path entirely. Some expressed a longing to attend cosmetology school, learn HVAC, or pursue careers as truck drivers, mechanics, or fitness instructors. When I inquired why they weren’t following their true aspirations, the answer was often heartbreaking: “My parents.”
I completely understood this dynamic. Financial support often translates to power in decision-making. One student confided that his father told him outright, “You will go to college.” That was the extent of the discussion.
Even with scholarships and loans, many parents maintain a firm expectation that their children will complete college and secure a degree, viewing it as a guarantee for a prosperous future. This authoritative mindset can stifle young adults, leaving them to wonder about their true talents while they waste time and money in an unsuitable academic environment.
I often questioned how many of these students could thrive in hands-on learning settings, free from the constraints of traditional classrooms. I wished I could communicate with their parents the truth: not every student thrives in an academic setting. Many young adults do not fit the conventional molds of education, and that’s perfectly acceptable.
There are diverse options available, and I hope more parents will engage with their teens to explore them. From trade schools to training programs, community colleges, and jobs that provide immediate financial benefits without requiring a degree, the possibilities are vast.
I’m not advocating for lowering expectations; rather, I encourage parents to reconsider what those expectations should be. The results could be transformative for their young adults.
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Summary
The narrative that college is essential for success is misleading and can be detrimental to young adults. Many students feel pressured into higher education by their parents, despite having different aspirations. It’s important for parents to recognize that not all paths to success involve a college degree and to support their children in exploring diverse and fulfilling options.
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