Reflecting on the early days of motherhood, my first child was a calm baby who could entertain himself by gazing at his mobile while I took a shower. He would easily drift off in the car, even during the briefest trips. When it came to family gatherings, like my mother’s birthday celebration where we waited over an hour for a table, he happily munched on saltines and played with shoelaces. While he certainly had his moments, he was generally laid-back, self-soothing, and content to engage in solitary play.
Family and strangers alike often praised him as a “good baby.” I mistakenly attributed this to my supposed natural parenting skills and a consistent routine. Other mothers expressed their struggles with getting showers or leaving the house, but I couldn’t comprehend their difficulties. Looking back, I realize how naive I was.
My firstborn’s easygoing nature gave me the confidence to welcome a second child, who turned out to be just as easygoing. She was a fantastic sleeper, enjoyed a variety of foods, and was consistently cheerful. Her kindergarten teacher even jokingly suggested cloning her, and I sat there feeling a swell of pride. Although we faced challenges, she, too, was relatively easy compared to what was to come.
With two manageable children, I anticipated that my third would follow suit. After all, my first two were relaxed and content, and I had honed my parenting skills. What could possibly go wrong? Little did I know that my third child would turn out to be a whirlwind of challenges.
Now almost 14 years later, I can confidently say that my third child has taught me more about parenting than I ever thought possible. He arrived with a “payback” message, and I have been navigating a sea of lessons ever since. He is now a teenager, and I am still trying to keep up.
From the start, he was my largest baby, and labor was nothing short of grueling. Contrary to the common belief that labor gets easier with each child, that was not my experience. The longest stretch of sleep he achieved in his first three months was a mere two hours—yes, just two. He rarely fell asleep in the car, during long walks, or even while breastfeeding, which left me exhausted.
Every parenting trick that worked with my other two seemed to backfire with him. He was spirited and began throwing large objects as soon as he had the strength. At just one year old, he resisted sitting in the front of the grocery cart, demonstrating his incredible willpower.
Tantrums became a daily occurrence. I remember bumping into his sister’s kindergarten teacher, who had previously praised her, and she confessed that she was unsure how to handle my son if he ended up in her class.
This child has not only tested my patience but also compelled me to adapt my parenting style entirely. He is fiercely independent, loves to dismantle toys to understand how they work, and often challenges authority. His arrival was a shock, and I quickly learned that no amount of preparation could fully equip me for the journey ahead.
Despite the chaos, I love him deeply. Through all the trials, he has taught me that no matter how adept you think you are as a parent, each child is unique and their behavior does not always reflect your parenting abilities. I’ve worked harder with him than with my first two combined, and he still manages to surprise me—just ask his seventh-grade teachers, who deserve a medal for their efforts.
Interestingly, many parents of three children have shared similar sentiments regarding their third child being their biggest challenge. One father noted that everything he thought he knew about parenting seemed to disappear with the arrival of his third. Similarly, a mother of three girls remarked that while her first two were great sleepers and eaters, her third was a completely different story.
This pattern of the third child being more difficult is not isolated. A mother of four shared that her third was the wild child, distinct in personality, challenging her limits daily. Yet, amidst the chaos, my third child has shown me his gentle side, always willing to help others, while his siblings can sometimes be indifferent.
The difficulties that arise with a third child often lead to unique qualities that make them stand out. They teach us about love, resilience, and the beauty of individuality. As challenging as he may be, his sweetness and thoughtfulness shine through, reminding us that the trials of parenting can lead to profound joy.
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Summary
Parenting a third child can be a daunting yet rewarding experience, often challenging the skills and confidence gained from raising older siblings. Many parents find that their third child presents unique challenges, fostering growth and learning in unexpected ways. The lessons learned through the trials of raising a strong-willed child can lead to a deeper appreciation for their individuality and the joys they bring to family life.
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