Memorable Quotes from “Orange Is the New Black”

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Following its debut in 2013, the captivating tales of the women in “Orange Is the New Black” kept audiences entertained for seven seasons before concluding last year. The series, inspired by Piper Kerman’s memoir, chronicles the journey of Piper Chapman (played by Taylor Schilling), who finds herself navigating the complexities of life in a women’s prison after being convicted for transporting drug money. Reuniting with her former lover Alex Vause (Laura Prepon), Piper adapts to her new reality, all while uncovering the poignant backstories of her fellow inmates and the events that led them to incarceration.

The show’s combination of humor and heart provided an array of unforgettable quotes, showcasing the characters’ unique personalities through sharp wit and dark humor. Here’s a collection of some of the most memorable quotes that highlight the show’s charm.

1. “I’ve been here for less than two weeks and have already been starved, harassed, and even compared to Taylor Swift.” – Piper
2. “No offense, but having men in charge has never worked out well for me.” – Daisy
3. “I owe my younger self a lifetime of wild adventures.” – Rita
4. “I’m not insane; I’m just one of a kind.” – Suzanne ‘Crazy Eyes’
5. “You’re still attractive. Sure, you’re terrible, but damn, you’re hot.” – Caputo
6. Flaca: “A test? Oh man, I’m awful at tests! I get so nervous I can’t even think.”
   Blanca: “That sounds like a dumb excuse.”
7. “Feel free to blame my actual sadness on my time of the month.” – Piper
8. Pennsatucky: “Are you really going to let all the men die out?”
   Big Boo: “Hell no, we need them for labor! You know, bookkeeping, cleaning, and all that.”
9. “My mom always said silence can be the loudest thing. But she never shut the hell up.” – Morello
10. “A tunnel, really? That’s so cartoonish.” – Vee
11. “If gratitude paid the bills, we’d all be as rich as Bill Gates!” – Cindy
12. “If you want to assassinate someone, having good vision is key. It’s step one, for crying out loud.” – Rita
13. “This food looks like something a walrus would spit up for its least favorite child.” – Alex
14. “This year, I’m loving someone who truly deserves it—me.” – Suzanne ‘Crazy Eyes’
15. “Poison is beneath you, Frieda. That’s for witches and bored housewives, not tough biker chicks.” – Rita
16. Frieda: “What can I say? I’m getting older.”
17. “According to this skills assessment, I should be an athlete, a park ranger, or a prison officer. You realize you just told an inmate she should become a CO, right? What’s wrong with you?!” – Nicky
18. “Dying isn’t the hard part. It’s just that I have to do it here. The last thing I want to see is you jerks.” – Rosa
19. “She’s a lesbian. They’re doing their thing together.” – Pennsatucky
20. Pennsatucky: “Hey! What game are you guys playing?”
    Nicky: “A game as ancient as time.”
    Pennsatucky: “Cool. What’s it called?”
    Nicky: “Exclusion.”
21. “What? I’m just bored! Can’t we have a race war? It’ll be exciting!” – Cindy
22. “Look, I found a rock shaped like a man’s parts with one ball. I call it my Lance Armstrong rock.” – Piper
23. “I used to think you were like a bright dandelion, but now you’re just dried out. But that’s okay; you are who you are, just like I’m who I am.” – Suzanne ‘Crazy Eyes’
24. “Are you envious that I’m kind of pretty now and you’re not?” – Pennsatucky
25. “Did you ever see that film? The one with the cowboy who’s king of the castle, and then an astronaut shows up and tries to take over, leading to a rescue mission? They become friends.” – Morello
26. “Call me Jesus from now on, because I just performed a miracle.” – Sophia
27. “Congratulations, you’ve officially wrecked a man’s life.” – Fig
28. Nicky: “Look at you, blondie. What did you do?”
    Piper: “Aren’t you not supposed to ask that? I read that somewhere.”
    Nicky: “You read? What, you studied for prison?”
29. “All problems are boring until they’re your own.” – Rita
30. “I believe this world is damaged, and if you can find even a hint of happiness, hold onto it tight.” – Poussey
31. “Adding another layer of icing on a terrible cake doesn’t improve the taste.” – Nicky
32. “This is the loneliest place I’ve ever been, and I once lived in a tree for eight months!” – Soso
33. “I threw my pie for you.” – Suzanne ‘Crazy Eyes’
34. “I like attractive girls. And I like attractive guys. I like attractive people. What can I say? I’m shallow.” – Piper
35. Big Boo: “There’s no word ‘knifes.’”
    Lorna: “What? Then what does Tony do to Bernardo in West Side Story? I’ll tell you. He knifes him.”
36. “If your mind starts to fade, just tell me, and I’ll give you a mercy killing before you end up in Psych.” – Gloria
37. “She disrespected me. Now I’m going to have to take her out.” – Pennsatucky
38. “Is this bus heading to the underworld?” – Poussey
39. “Did your mother mix whiskey in your baby bottle or did she just blend it with the dog food?” – Nicky
40. “You can cheat on your wife with hookers who indulge your diaper fetish and still be a senator, as long as you apologize.” – Judy
41. Taystee: “If George R.R. Martin wrote about prisons, I’d be the Hand of the Warden.”
    Poussey: “Don’t the Hand usually die in those books?”
42. “I’m gangsta. With an ‘A’ at the end.” – Piper

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In summary, “Orange Is the New Black” delivered a blend of humor and heart, leaving audiences with a treasure trove of memorable quotes that encapsulate the spirit of its characters and their journeys.