In the hustle of daily life, many working mothers often find themselves overwhelmed, feeling as though there’s barely a moment to catch their breath. That nagging internal voice whispers, “I’ll just check my email quickly to ensure everything is alright.” This is a familiar refrain for many of us, a constant tug-of-war between the desire to disconnect from work and the compulsive need to stay engaged.
For those who share my profession as educators, the holiday season may have offered a temporary reprieve. Some enjoyed time off starting before Christmas, while others only had a brief break after the holiday. Personally, my downtime commenced after I submitted my final semester grades, theoretically extending until the spring semester begins. This typically amounts to about four weeks of much-needed rest—seemingly a luxury, isn’t it?
Yet, as many educators know, the notion of a break can quickly become clouded. Each day, I grapple with the temptation to work on my CV, syllabi, and other tasks that linger in the back of my mind. The challenge becomes how to silence the incessant thoughts about work. Why do I feel compelled to worry about my professional responsibilities even during my much-deserved time off?
I recognize that I am not alone in this struggle. My experiences in group therapy, discussions with fellow mothers, and conversations with colleagues reveal that many of us are battling similar internal dialogues. The pressure to constantly “give all” is often a message ingrained in us from childhood. We were taught to strive for perfection and to prioritize duty above all else, leading to an exhausting cycle of self-expectation.
As an adult, I can identify this internal pressure as a form of coercion, a societal construct that has shaped my identity as a diligent worker. Yet, as a child, I simply yearned for acceptance and love, often sacrificing my own well-being in the process.
Now, I find myself navigating the difficult terrain of setting boundaries. This process is often draining, filled with doubts about my commitments and how to allocate my time effectively as a mother. The quest to balance career and family life feels never-ending. Should I even label my parenting role as “work”? How do I secure more time for my family while also fulfilling my professional obligations?
It’s essential to recognize that many of these discussions stem from privilege. My mother and grandmothers likely did not have the luxury to question their roles in home and work. They didn’t have the technology that keeps us perpetually connected. The advancements we enjoy today come with both freedoms and burdens, and this duality is a crucial aspect of our ongoing conversations.
So, how do we reclaim our power beyond the incessant urge to work? The answer lies in embracing both grief and joy. We deserve to lead lives free from the need to be constantly productive. We are entitled to rest, to mourn the time we’ve given to work, and to find happiness in simply being.
Still, another persistent voice may dismiss our struggles, urging us to simply “stop working.” This attitude trivializes the hard work we’ve done to find freedom from these pressures. We must remember that a culture exists that encourages us to labor endlessly, often at the expense of our well-being.
As a professor, I often wrestle with this demanding voice, especially in my field of gender studies. I frequently remind myself that it’s okay to recognize my worth outside of my productivity. To all those striving to find rest amidst the chaos: know that you are not alone. You do not need to prove your value through relentless work. Your power lies in your ability to rest.
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In summary, navigating the demands of motherhood and professional life is a complex juggling act. We must be diligent in setting boundaries, recognizing our worth beyond work, and allowing ourselves moments of rest and joy.
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