I will always remember the mother who offered me kindness during a challenging day at the library over ten years ago. At the time, I was a weary and overwhelmed new mom, grappling with my one-year-old son who had just begun to walk. He was exploring every nook and cranny of the library—pressing buttons on computers, fiddling with the electronic book drop, and somehow managing to trigger the alarm at the entrance repeatedly.
As I passed by another mother seated calmly at a table, assisting her school-aged daughter with homework, I apologized for the chaos my son was causing. Each time, she responded with nothing but empathy and understanding, which I desperately needed.
Eventually, she beckoned me over to her table and introduced me to some crayons and paper for my son to color with. Although he wasn’t particularly interested in drawing, he happily occupied himself on my lap with the crayons (and probably nibbled on a few).
While I sat there, this compassionate mother took a moment to genuinely ask about my well-being—not in a superficial manner, but with real concern. Her warmth encouraged me to open up. “My son just turned one a few weeks ago, and I’m still so exhausted,” I confessed. “It feels like it hasn’t gotten easier, and now that he can walk, it might even be harder.”
“Oh dear,” she replied (I’m convinced she was sent from the heavens). “He’s still a baby, and you’re still a new mom. It’s completely normal for it to be tough. They don’t get easier for a long time, and it takes years to feel like yourself again.”
Though our interaction was brief—lasting no more than ten minutes—it left an indelible mark on me. Since my son’s birth, I had been caught in a cycle of waiting: waiting for things to improve, for restful nights, for my body to return to its previous state, and for my sense of self to resurface. The societal expectations seemed to suggest that once my baby was a few months old, I should be back to my regular routine: returning calls, attending social gatherings, and showering more frequently. But that had not been my reality.
This mother’s reassurance was a breath of fresh air, as she was one of the first to validate my experience. Recently, I was reminded of her when I saw a tweet by a well-known figure, Jenna Brooks, who candidly shared her own struggles with postpartum challenges. She described attending a yoga class for the first time since giving birth to her son 18 months prior. Rather than advising her to push through discomfort, her instructor helped her reframe her perspective on her postpartum body.
After voicing her concerns, Jenna recalled the instructor’s response: “Didn’t you just have a baby?” When Jenna clarified it had been 18 months, the instructor replied, “That’s JUST,” which nearly brought Jenna to tears. It’s a small gesture, but such reassurance can mean the world to a frazzled mother.
Jenna’s decision to share this moment resonated deeply, as many mothers chimed in to express gratitude and solidarity, affirming that it can indeed take years to feel like one’s self again post-baby. This is perfectly normal.
Inspired by my encounter in the library years ago, I now strive to support new mothers whenever I can. If I see a mom struggling with her child or expressing frustration about her postpartum body, I always take the time to reassure her that she is entirely normal. A simple acknowledgment, such as “There’s no need to apologize,” or “I’ve been there!” can provide the comfort she needs. If the opportunity arises, I share my own experiences from when my kids were small.
It truly takes a community—not just to raise a child, but to uplift the parents who nurture them. We can all extend a helping hand to new moms by reminding them that healing takes time and that it’s okay to feel out of sorts. This perspective is vital, especially in a world quick to suggest otherwise.
For more insights on gratitude and parenting, check out this post. And if you’re considering home insemination, resources like the Cryobaby Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit can be immensely helpful. Additionally, the Genetics and IVF Institute is a fantastic resource for those navigating pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, a simple act of kindness from a fellow mother can have a lasting impact, reminding us of the importance of supporting one another through the challenges of motherhood.
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