“What are those first few months really like?” my friend asked as we sat in my living room, my little one zipping around us. I chuckled, glancing at him. My friend, who is a few years younger and newly married, knows starting a family is on her horizon. So, I inquired, “How truthful do you want me to be?” For me, being candid about motherhood, especially in those early stages, is crucial. There isn’t nearly enough representation that showcases the challenges new moms face.
The reality of early motherhood isn’t as sweet and rosy as society often portrays. Yes, you have this adorable baby, but let’s be real—it’s tough. The postpartum product brand Frida Mom created a powerful commercial that illustrates the struggles faced by new moms. Their approach to authenticity is commendable. The ad features a mom waking up to her newborn’s cries, only to navigate the daunting task of using the bathroom first. Frida Mom doesn’t shy away from depicting the intricacies of postpartum life—mesh underwear, peri bottles, and all—because that’s what it’s truly like. Having access to these images not only prepares us but also fosters a sense of connection and validation.
Surprisingly, this ad was banned from airing during the Oscars. In their YouTube video explaining this decision, Frida Mom stated, “The ad was rejected by ABC & the Oscars, not because it was ‘violent, political,’ or sexual, but simply because it shows a new mom adjusting to her body and her baby. We wonder why so many new moms feel unprepared.” Representations of new motherhood in the media are either overly sentimental or depict utter despair, leaving little room for the reality most of us experience. Yes, bonding with your new baby is beautiful, but the accompanying discomfort and challenges are equally real—and acknowledging those feelings is vital.
This is why the Frida Mom ad resonates so strongly. I wish I had someone back then who could have shared these truths with me. Everything hurts—using the bathroom requires a squeeze bottle and witch hazel pads. Even if you don’t tear, the experience can still feel overwhelming. And let’s not even talk about trying to poop—trust me, it’s a nightmare. I always remind my friends to keep taking stool softeners, even when they feel fine. Being honest about motherhood lifts the veil on these experiences.
Engaging in open and truthful discussions about early motherhood is essential. Those initial weeks can feel incredibly isolating. You might find yourself feeling bloated, crampy, and exhausted, with breasts that feel like they weigh a ton—especially if you’re breastfeeding, which can come with its own challenges. Your wardrobe likely consists of loose, stretchy clothing covered in baby spit-up and sweat, and the idea of showering regularly feels like a distant dream. But here’s the kicker: all of this is completely normal.
If society embraced raw honesty about motherhood, it would lessen the feelings of isolation many new moms experience. So many of us believe we are the only ones struggling. If we start portraying early motherhood authentically, we could alleviate a lot of the burdens we carry.
During my early days as a mom, the harsh realities were shocking. I felt like a zombie, unable to maintain a regular shower schedule. While my baby took to breastfeeding like a champ, it was still painful and disconcerting. I grappled with this new reality, often feeling lost. Even surrounded by friends in similar situations, we weren’t discussing our struggles. It’s heartbreaking to think of the many mothers who endure silently, believing they’re alone.
Now that I’ve navigated through those overwhelming initial days, I find it vital to share the unvarnished truth about motherhood with friends who haven’t experienced it yet. I strive to reassure them that their feelings are valid and that the challenges they face don’t make them inadequate mothers. Acknowledging the difficulties is a sign of strength, and if knowing they’re not alone provides even a modicum of comfort, I feel accomplished.
We must honor the early stages of motherhood. They are rarely easy, and it’s high time we de-stigmatize the conversation around them. We owe it to ourselves and to one another to have more forthright discussions about motherhood. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows—most of the time, you’re hanging on by a thread. None of us are martyrs, and if society stops expecting us to be, perhaps we can start taking early motherhood seriously.
For more insights on navigating parenthood, check out this blog post. Also, Kindbody offers excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re looking for supplies for the journey, Cryobaby provides trusted products for the process.
In summary, it’s essential to bring authentic representations of motherhood into the limelight. By doing so, we can foster community, reduce isolation, and encourage open conversations about the struggles and joys of early motherhood.
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