When I began documenting my recovery from an eating disorder on Instagram, I never anticipated that I would one day be criticized for sharing my journey. Over the years, I’ve worked diligently to cultivate an online space that prioritizes safety and inclusivity. The overwhelmingly positive feedback I’ve received has reassured me that I’ve made significant progress. Drawing from the roots of the body positivity movement, I advocate for the rights and dignity of all individuals, regardless of societal standards regarding body size. I actively speak against fatphobia and diet culture, celebrate living authentically in a larger body, and strive to eliminate the stigma surrounding mental health and trauma recovery.
However, I soon learned that no matter how sincere your intentions, not everyone will resonate with your message—especially if it challenges societal norms. While I anticipated some criticism from health critics, I was blindsided by accusations of skinny shaming for simply sharing my experiences in a smaller body.
Recently, I shared a side-by-side photo of myself: on one side, a younger version of me struggling with body dysmorphia and extreme dieting; on the other, my present self, embracing the body I’ve worked hard to love over the past three years. My aim was to flip the narrative of the typical “before and after” weight loss images and convey that I have come to value my worthiness and lovability in a body that doesn’t fit conventional ideals. I wrote, “I used to prioritize a flat stomach and believed weight gain equated to weakness… I harshly judged others in larger bodies while feeling miserable in my own thinness.” I emphasized that my moments in a thinner body were fraught with discomfort and a relentless desire to lose more weight, a cycle that shifted dramatically after gaining 75 pounds through two pregnancies.
In my post, I expressed, “I currently feel so at ease in my body that weight loss or restrictive eating is completely out of the question. I cherish my larger body with a fierce compassion that makes jeopardizing that love unthinkable.” This message was meant to inspire others who might struggle with self-love to challenge the societal pressures that encourage body hate. I shared my story for my younger self, who never thought she would be valued in a larger body, and for others who may be silently battling eating disorders and need to see more examples of recovery.
However, one woman interpreted my message differently. Her comment startled me: “Do you not think you’re shaming those who are skinny like you once were? Do you honestly believe that weight determines happiness?” This prompted a deep reflection. I typically remove negative comments and address them privately, so I reached out to her to clarify my stance on maintaining a positive space on my Instagram. After some initial discomfort, she began to trust me and opened up about her own struggles with living in an extremely thin body—not through dieting, but through an inability to gain weight, which caused her significant anxiety. Her experiences of shopping in children’s sections and feeling envious of my body positivity illustrated the complexities of body image.
I’m thankful that I engaged with her and delved into the heart of her reaction. Over several days of conversation, we arrived at a mutual understanding. I later shared our dialogue with my followers, highlighting the critical distinction between the shame felt in a thin body versus the societal stigma surrounding larger bodies. While her feelings were valid, it was essential for her to recognize the inherent privilege that often accompanies a thinner physique. Society tends to reward thinner individuals with praise and the assumption of health, while larger bodies face cultural oppression.
The pressure to conform to diet culture leads many to self-loathing, but it’s a different narrative when society devalues your existence based on size. Once I clarified this difference, she began to connect the dots, and I am grateful for her willingness to engage in this important conversation.
While I cannot engage in lengthy discussions with everyone who misinterprets my journey, I’m glad I did with her. It’s time for individuals in thinner bodies, especially those with privilege, to understand the harsh realities faced by those who endure daily ridicule for their size. If you’re wondering how to be an ally to larger individuals, consider educating yourself about the roots of fatphobia and recognizing how living in a thinner body can come with advantages. Support those in your community who are marginalized and advocate for a more inclusive understanding of body image.
I learned about thin privilege after I no longer had it. Armed with this knowledge, I am committed to advocating for marginalized bodies. Together, let’s challenge the profit-driven institutions that perpetuate division rather than unity. And remember, if you find yourself about to say something unkind, take a moment to reflect on why.
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In summary, I faced accusations of skinny shaming on Instagram while sharing my journey of self-acceptance and body positivity. Through dialogue and understanding, I was able to illustrate the complexities surrounding body image and privilege. It’s vital to recognize the challenges faced by those in larger bodies and work toward fostering a more inclusive and compassionate community.
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