Some people claim being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) is the most challenging job on the planet, while others picture it as lounging on the couch, snacking on chips while kids run wild. The reality of being a SAHM is filled with debate about whether it’s a dream come true or just another classic case of “the grass is greener.” Given this mix of opinions, it’s no surprise the SAHMs in our Confessional have diverse feelings about their role.
One common sentiment unites them all: life would be a whole lot simpler without the “mom” part. While the idea of staying at home sounds appealing, it’s far from the endless vacation that many non-SAHMs imagine. There’s a significant misunderstanding regarding how little “free time” a stay-at-home mom actually has.
Confessionals from Stay-At-Home Moms
Confessional #25768400
“What I miss most about working is that no one expected anything else from me. As a SAHM, everyone, including my partner, thinks I have all this free time to cater to their needs.”
Confessional #25755496
“I thought SAHMs were supposed to keep everything spotless and have dinner ready. I didn’t realize how unrealistic that was when you factor in kids. Ha! Joke’s on me—I’ve been a SAHM for four years!”
Confessional #25765398
“I love when people who’ve never taken care of kids without screens tell me I should ‘watch a few more kids’ as a SAHM. If you don’t pay my bills, keep your advice to yourself!”
Maintaining a household—especially with children—is a tremendous amount of work, often done behind the scenes. It’s gratifying when those who don’t appreciate what we do finally get a glimpse into our daily lives.
Confessional #25767926
“I just started working nights on weekends (and I love it). It’s satisfying to get texts from my partner about how hard it is to watch the kids. It’s so HARD to watch the kids? Pfffffffttt!”
The misconception persists that because we don’t bring home a paycheck or have a set work schedule, being a SAHM isn’t a “real job.”
Confessional #1724725
“I wish my partner would understand that being a stay-at-home mom is hard work too.”
Confessional #1475099
“I’m a stay-at-home mom, and my partner works outside the home. He often says he wishes he had my ‘job.’ Really? Let’s trade places, please!”
Confessional #1344189
“Love being a stay-at-home mom, but I hate when people say, ‘Oh, so you don’t have a job.’”
Anyone who has experienced life as a SAHM knows it absolutely is a job—one without sick days or lunch breaks, where you have to juggle a million responsibilities. In fact, a 2019 study by Salary.com estimated that if stay-at-home moms were compensated for their work, the annual salary would be a staggering $178,201. So, for the skeptics out there, you can keep your opinions to yourself.
Confessional #25760581
“I’m proud to be a SAHM. I work hard for my family and community, support my husband, and engage in my kids’ education. I also have immense respect for working moms.”
Despite the demands of being constantly available, many SAHMs find joy in certain aspects of their role and appreciate the flexibility it can provide.
Confessional #1603774
“I genuinely love being a SAHM, but I pretend to complain about it to fit in with other moms.”
Confessional #25752381
“As a SAHM, the only thing I miss about working outside the home is the guarantee of a lunch break and the chance to pee alone.”
Confessional #1625801
“I adore being a SAHM. I can do what I want as long as the kids are settled. My partner thinks I’m working hard all day, but right now, I’m just lounging on the couch watching TV with my daughter. Life is good!”
However, despite the positives, many SAHMs face challenges like disillusionment, isolation, and a persistent sense of lacking purpose. The emotional toll can sometimes be the hardest aspect of the job.
Confessional #25766120
“I don’t remember what I expected being a SAHM would be like, but this isn’t it.”
Confessional #1769529
“Some days I go without showering or brushing my teeth. I was chatting with my daughter when she exclaimed, ‘Oh Mom, did you fart?’ Nope, it was just my breath. Stay-at-home mom = no purpose.”
Confessional #25760630
“I feel like a failure. This is a dark cloud in my life. Shouldn’t being a SAHM be rewarding? It doesn’t feel that way—everything seems insignificant.”
Confessional #1527590
“I hate being a stay-at-home mom. I love my kids, but I can’t stand being alone with them all day. I miss adult interaction, wearing something other than sweatpants, and the monotony is draining.”
Confessional #25768284
“I’m struggling at being a SAHM. I never wanted this and feel like I don’t contribute anything meaningful to our lives. My partner doesn’t acknowledge how challenging it is.”
Confessional #1491318
“I always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom, and now I hate it. It’s making my brain feel like mush.”
Like any job, being a stay-at-home mom has its ups and downs. It’s crucial to remember that, despite the isolation we may feel, we’re part of a vast community of SAHMs who can relate to every aspect of child-rearing, from wiping noses to doing laundry.
Confessional #25755555
“I feel bad for other SAHMs who have breakdowns, but it also comforts me. The cycle of being a SAHM—doing well, feeling lonely, inadequate, and overwhelmed—is a wild ride. I’m glad I’m not alone.”
This article was originally published on March 5, 2020.
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Summary
Being a stay-at-home mom is often misunderstood as a carefree lifestyle, yet it includes hard work, emotional challenges, and a sense of isolation. While many SAHMs find joy in their role, they also grapple with feelings of inadequacy, disillusionment, and the desire for adult interaction. This community of mothers supports one another through the ups and downs, proving that even in the mundane, there’s a shared experience.
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