Let’s get one thing straight: unless there’s a medical reason for it, carbs are not the enemy. If you can indulge in heaps of bacon or pork rinds while on a diet, then having a banana or sweet potato should be perfectly fine, too.
There’s no need to “atone” for enjoying a donut or any other treat with excessive exercise or skipping meals. When you’re out with friends and want to order your favorite dessert or some mozzarella sticks, you don’t owe anyone an explanation—there’s no need to say you’re “being bad” or that you “usually don’t eat like this.”
We must eliminate the idea that food has moral value. This kind of thinking fosters disordered eating, shame, and body image issues. I know this firsthand; I’ve struggled with an eating disorder and body dysmorphia for years. As I work to dismantle the harmful beliefs that diet culture has instilled in me, I still find it hard to appreciate and nourish my body without fixating on making it smaller or leaner.
Even if your experience isn’t as intense as mine, we’ve all been affected by a culture that prioritizes thinness above our physical, mental, and emotional health. The relentless message is thinness first, happiness later. I’m sick of it.
Just the other day at a coffee shop, I witnessed a young girl asking her mom for a bagel. Without missing a beat, the mom shot back, “Too many carbs—you don’t want to be a big fatty!” And just like that, the bagel was off the table. I wanted to take that girl aside and tell her, “Your weight is the least interesting thing about you. You are beautiful, amazing, and you deserve to eat whatever you want.”
But I didn’t. I held back, recognizing that I didn’t know their family dynamics and not wanting to complicate things for her. Instead, I smiled warmly and hoped she sensed my support.
This kind of scenario is all too common. At a recent school meeting, I saw a mom grab a piece of candy and immediately apologize to everyone around her, saying, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. I don’t want to blow up like a balloon.” It’s clear that this response comes from her own issues with food and body image, but that doesn’t lessen the impact of her words.
I used to feel the need to justify my food choices to strangers, but I’m thankful that I’ve moved beyond that. The real issue is that she felt the need to apologize for eating a piece of candy—like she was doing something shameful.
Our society has conditioned us to feel guilty about eating anything that isn’t deemed “healthy,” especially when it comes to larger individuals enjoying food. It’s infuriating and unacceptable.
We know nothing about someone’s health or diet just by looking at them. And even if we did, it doesn’t matter. Everyone deserves respect, regardless of their size or dietary choices.
Healing from an eating disorder often involves gaining weight, and I’ve experienced that. My body has changed after having four kids, and that’s okay. In college, I used to work double shifts as a server and deprive myself of food, focusing solely on staying thin. I may have looked healthy then, but I certainly wasn’t.
So, if you’re one of those people clinging to the “glorifying obesity” narrative while body-positive individuals fight against it, please just stop. If you find it necessary to share unsolicited diet plans or make judgments about food, it’s time to reflect on your own issues.
Enjoy that mini candy bar or even a king-sized one without guilt. Embracing a healthy relationship with food means allowing yourself to indulge without shame. And don’t ignore your hunger; life is too short to be preoccupied with it.
Finally, for the love of all that’s good, don’t make value judgments about your child’s size or food choices. A bagel won’t turn your daughter into a “big fatty,” but talking to her that way could lead to a lifelong struggle with eating disorders and mental health issues. We need to do better and break this cycle for the next generation.
If you’re interested in more topics on healthy eating, check out our post on summer meals here.
And if you’re exploring pregnancy options, this resource on the IVF process is excellent. For those looking into at-home insemination, this site is a great authority on the subject.
In summary, let’s stop the chatter around diets and food morality. Enjoy food, embrace your body, and let’s create a healthier dialogue for ourselves and our children.
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