When I was a kid, around six years old, I developed a knack for sneaking treats and hiding them away. I once swiped an eye-catching set of fake nails from my local pharmacy, strolling out of the store without a care. If my parents forgot to pack my snack for school, I would “borrow” food from my best friend and act like it was mine. And if my younger brother managed to devour more than his share of desserts, I would stash away any unopened boxes in my toy chest.
Eating in secret felt like a small act of rebellion. I grew up in a household where dieting was the norm, and discussions about body size often circled around me. The message I absorbed was clear: to be loved, I needed to be thin. My brother, on the other hand, could indulge without a second thought, while I was constantly reminded to monitor my intake. The confusion of knowing I was fine but being treated as if I wasn’t was overwhelming.
It’s no wonder that my childhood habits morphed into unhealthy behaviors during my teenage years. Those sneaky dessert raids evolved into binge eating, purging, and a reliance on diet pills. The pressure to conform to society’s beauty standards during puberty, coupled with ongoing family issues, led to a severe struggle with body dysmorphia that I’m still navigating today. Food was a source of joy in my home but also felt like an enemy. For years, I oscillated between self-destructive habits and pretending that everything was okay.
Fortunately, I’ve spent the last few years working on healing my relationship with my body and recovering from my eating disorder. Now, I strive to model body positivity for my daughter, Mia. I share my journey on social media and enjoy weekly dance parties with her, encouraging her to embrace every part of herself. While Mia can be quite picky with her food and claims to be allergic to most vegetables, she seems to be developing a healthy relationship with eating—until I noticed something concerning.
In my quest for self-healing, I had overlooked Mia’s interactions with food. It was hard to discern typical toddler behavior from potential red flags, especially with two young kids. I began to notice her frequent pleas for desserts, followed by tantrums if she didn’t get enough. She started sneaking sweets and hiding them, which sent me into a spiral of anxiety.
Despite my best efforts as a mother—listening to parenting podcasts, reading books, and going to therapy—I found myself facing the same situation I had experienced in my childhood. I was determined to help Mia build a trusting relationship with food and avoid the pitfalls I had encountered.
I realized that Mia’s circumstances were far better than mine had been. My partner and I foster a relaxed atmosphere during meals and avoid discussions about weight loss or body criticism. However, no amount of reading or therapy prepared me for this challenge. I didn’t want her innocent behavior to spiral into something more problematic.
I decided to investigate why my four-year-old felt the need to sneak sweets. While I had occasionally resorted to loud warnings in frustration, I recognized that empathy was crucial. I wanted to be the parent who could help her feel safe expressing her desires around food.
In my search for guidance, I stumbled upon the Instagram account of Sarah, a nutrition educator dedicated to helping parents navigate their children’s relationships with food. Her approach resonated with me, particularly her radical idea of normalizing desserts. She suggested placing a small dessert on each child’s plate during meals, removing the stigma attached to sweets. If Mia chose to eat only the cookie or complained about her veggies, I was encouraged to remain calm and unbothered.
Initially, I was skeptical but decided to give it a shot. Following Sarah’s advice, I began serving Mia her favorite foods alongside a cookie or a few pieces of candy. The goal was to present all foods as equal. When we first tried it, Mia was puzzled. “Why is there dessert at every meal?” she asked. She devoured the cookie first, pushing away the broccoli. I stayed relaxed, reminding her that she didn’t have to eat it.
To my surprise, she started eating her cucumbers and finished most of her plate. Consistency has been tricky, as some days are more chaotic than others. However, I noticed that Mia no longer hid sweets or treated them as forbidden treasures. When we implement this method, she often eats a balanced meal, sometimes finishing her veggies before reaching for dessert.
The biggest revelation for me was that when we allow Mia to enjoy sweets without making a fuss, she eats until she’s satisfied and moves on to other activities. On days when treats aren’t available, she no longer throws a fit. Implementing Sarah’s method has made me more relaxed around food, and I believe it’s had a positive impact on her as well.
Through this journey, I’ve learned that fostering a healthy relationship with food is essential for both of us. The National Eating Disorders Association highlights the importance of this approach, noting that dieting can be a significant predictor of developing eating disorders in adolescents. This emphasizes the need to break free from the pressure and moral judgments surrounding food.
By teaching our children that there’s no shame in enjoying desserts, we can help prevent the negative impact of diet culture. I only wish I had received this guidance as a child, but now I can offer Mia the understanding I lacked.
For more insights on parenting and healthy eating habits, you can check out this blog post, and for additional resources, refer to Healthline’s information on intrauterine insemination or visit Make a Mom for expert guidance.
Summary:
The journey of fostering a positive relationship with food for my daughter has been transformative. By integrating desserts into her meals, I’ve seen a shift in her behavior, allowing her to enjoy sweets without the associated guilt or secrecy. This approach not only promotes balance but also helps dismantle the stigma around food, ensuring she grows up with a healthy mindset. Encouraging openness about food can prevent the development of disordered eating habits and foster self-acceptance.
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