85+ Hilariously Enchanting Harry Potter Jokes, Riddles, and Puns to Liven Up Any Conversation

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For those who grew up immersed in the whimsical universe crafted by J.K. Rowling, the Harry Potter saga has been a significant part of our formative years. Now, many of us are sharing that magical experience with our children. You’re not alone in this endeavor—Harry Potter jokes receive nearly 15,000 searches every month! This series captures romance, perilous escapades, and humor all rolled into one. When Harry, Ron, and Hermione weren’t dodging danger, they were embracing their youthful spirit, bringing smiles to our faces.

If you’re eager to keep the giggles flowing and spread the joy, this curated list of Harry Potter jokes, puns, riddles, and even some cheesy pick-up lines is just what you need to brighten your kid’s day and make you seem a little cooler in the process. So, shake off that serious expression and dive into the fun—Riddikulus!

Witty Harry Potter Jokes and Puns

1. How does Harry Potter treat a rash? With quit-itch.
2. How many Slytherins are needed to stir a cauldron? Just one; she puts her wand in, and the cauldron revolves around her!
3. Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter over Facebook? He only has followers, not friends.
4. If a wizard gets robbed by a Muggle, does that mean he’s been Muggled?
5. What do you call a Dark Lord who’s been electrocuted? A Volt-demort.
6. Why is Mad-Eye Moody such a terrible teacher? Because he can’t control his pupils.
7. I must have had some Felix Felicis, because luck is on my side today!
8. Do you like Harry Potter? Because I a-Dumbledore you!
9. Are you a Dementor? Because you just took my breath away.
10. Why did Severus Snape stand in the road? To keep you guessing which side he’s on.
11. What do you call a mailman who chats with parcels? A parcel tongue.
12. Harry Potter puns can effortlessly Slytherin to any chat.
13. Why doesn’t Voldemort wear glasses? Nobody nose!
14. Why was Harry Potter sent to the principal’s office? He was caught cursing in class.
15. What did the comedian say to Harry Potter? “Why so Sirius?”
16. How do Death Eaters freshen their breath? With Dementos.
17. What do you name the entrance to a magical gym? A dumbbell door.
18. The first four Harry Potter books were light-hearted; the fifth one was dead Sirius.
19. What’s the cost to see Harry Potter play Quidditch? A quid each!
20. Why did protons vote for Harry? They didn’t want to elect Ron.
21. On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed am I with Harry Potter? Nine and three quarters!
22. Knock, knock. Who’s there? You-know-who. Exactly, AVADA KEDAVRA!
23. Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking? It was making him Moody.
24. After reading “The Deathday Party,” I realized Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.
25. How many Harry Potters does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one; he holds it, and the world revolves around him!
26. How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? Two; one holds it, and the other rotates the room.
27. How many Muggles to change a lightbulb? Just one; it’s their only talent.
28. How many Purebloods does it take to change a lightbulb? What’s a lightbulb?
29. A blind wizard walks into a bar and loudly says, “Want to hear a Hufflepuff joke?” The bar goes quiet, and the barkeep responds, “You’re talking to a Hufflepuff. Do you really want to continue?” The wizard thinks for a moment and replies, “No, not if I have to explain it three times.”
30. How does Harry Potter enter a room? Through the Gryffin-door.
31. Why did Harry Potter get pulled over? He didn’t expect-no-patrol-man!
32. How did Harry get down the hill? He was rolling, not walking!
33. “Harry, your godfather is dead.” “Are you serious?!?” “Yep. Dead Sirius!”
34. “Harry, your godfather is dead.” “Are you serious?!?” “No, I’m Snape.”
35. Why did Harry toss out his old potions? They were past their hexpiration date!
36. Yo mama has such a sweet tooth, her Patronus is a cake.
37. Why doesn’t Snape teach Herbology? His lily passed away.
38. How does Harry’s grocery shopping take no time online? Prior-In-Cart-Item.
39. How does Voldemort enter a room? He slithers in!
40. Why do Slytherin students love Herbology? Because it’s in the greenhouse.
41. Who is this? “Those I defend I do not love, and those I fight I cannot hate. The one who hates me most is the one I will die to protect.” Answer: Snape
42. Who is this? “I was the pride of those who owned me, and a murder sealed my fate; my true identity was unknown for years, and my end was brought by the one who stopped me from finishing my foe.” Answer: Slytherin Locket
43. Why can’t Harry tell his potions pot from his best friend? They’re both cauldron!
44. Did you survive Avada Kedavra? Because you’re drop-dead gorgeous.
45. What does Harry have that Voldemort doesn’t? A nose!

For more enjoyable content, check out our other post about culinary disasters here.

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In summary, this collection of Harry Potter jokes, riddles, and puns is a delightful way to share laughter and magic with your children, ensuring that the spirit of the wizarding world lives on in your home.