I’ve shared countless experiences, both big and small, with Lisa, my closest friend outside my family. From our days in middle school to college, we’ve supported each other through weddings and life’s ups and downs. Even though we’ve never lived more than twenty miles apart, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease when she suggested a trip to Alaska with our husbands and kids.
Lisa and her husband, Mark, along with my husband, Tom, quickly laid out an ambitious twelve-day itinerary. It involved flying to Anchorage, driving to Denali, returning to Anchorage, and then cruising the Inside Passage for a week. My mind, however, painted a different picture filled with visions of car sickness, exhausted kids on hikes, seasickness on the cruise, and meltdowns at dinner. Past vacations had their challenges, but why was I so anxious this time?
My anxiety stemmed from the fact that this trip involved my friends, who had worked hard and deserved a smooth getaway. While Tom and I were also entitled to enjoy ourselves, I felt a weight of responsibility knowing Lisa and Mark were spending their hard-earned money on a vacation that might turn out to be less than ideal. After all, I had a clear understanding of what traveling with children could entail. I often preferred trips with other parents who understood family dynamics.
Eventually, I decided to express my concerns to Lisa. I laid out every possible scenario—both the good and the bad. She just laughed and said, “We know! That’s the whole point of this trip!”
Fast forward a few months, and we were finally off. As we departed the jetway, I crossed my fingers, hoping for the best.
What unfolded was a mix of chaos and joy. My son Ryan, then six, became overwhelmed on our first hike and sat down in the mud, crying the entire way. He also lost his favorite hat in Denali, leading to tears on the return trip. Meanwhile, my four-year-old, Max, encountered stomach issues on the cruise, causing an hour-long scream fest in our tiny bathroom before he cried himself to sleep. Two days later, exhaustion hit him during Dave’s birthday dinner, and he fell asleep in his pasta.
Yet, these episodes faded into the background of their memories. Instead, they excitedly recall the stunning sight of sea lions on an iceberg, the thunderous sound of a glacier calving into the bay, and the wildlife we spotted—grizzlies, caribou, and puffins. Each time they reminisce about the trip, I am reminded of the incredible experiences we shared thanks to our child-free friends.
Challenging Preconceived Notions
Traveling with adults without children challenged our preconceived notions of which activities are kid-friendly. If it hadn’t been for Lisa and Mark encouraging us to tackle a more difficult hike, we would have missed watching a beaver at work. They also coaxed us away from the hectic cruise buffet and into the ship’s elegant dining room, where we could savor a delicious meal in peace. Their persuasion led us to book a longer excursion in Juneau, where we were lucky enough to see humpback whales up close.
Our sons also thrived in this new environment. Ryan, typically shy, bravely approached a gigantic moose, while Max eagerly embraced the thrill of a banana boat ride to Ketchikan Island. When rain soaked us during a forest hike, Max laughed instead of crying.
Friends without children can ease the parenting burden as they aren’t drained by their own kids. When Ryan started to melt down over the mini-golf course being closed, Mark quietly introduced him to his “fancy” camera. With a new toy and a fresh perspective, Ryan quickly forgot about golf. During breakfast, as I urged Ryan to eat over his plate, Lisa redirected him by asking what he was most excited about for school, and the meal proceeded without further incident. Observing my boys interact with Lisa and Mark made me realize how often I focus on directing their behavior instead of simply enjoying conversations with them.
Encouraging Empathy and Connection
Traveling with another couple also encouraged our kids to consider the needs of others. They may not share the same enthusiasm for trains as Lisa and Mark, but they witnessed our friends happily boarding the White Pass Railroad. Later, when we discussed our evening plans, it warmed my heart to hear Ryan suggest, “Should we ask Lisa and Mark what they’d like to do?” It was clear he wanted to reciprocate their kindness.
Moreover, this trip revitalized our conversations. When we were home, discussions often revolved around our kids. However, after tucking them in at night, relaxing with Lisa and Mark on the balcony, sipping champagne while gazing at the ocean, felt like a vacation within a vacation—no talk of Minecraft or Ryan’s Toy Review!
Newfound Confidence in Family Travel
Although I still value family trips with fellow parents, I’ve come to realize that I underestimated what children can enjoy. Before Ryan and Max were born, Tom and I traveled extensively—Africa, Asia, Europe, and beyond. We hesitated to start a family, fearing it would limit our adventures. I sometimes wonder how much our boys could have experienced had I not been so apprehensive. Still, I’m grateful to my friends for helping me see the positives of family vacations rather than just the potential hurdles. Thanks to them, we’ve tackled muddy hikes in Kauai and planned an upcoming snorkeling trip to Central America. Now, I browse travel sites with newfound confidence, thinking, “We can do that—all of us.”
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In summary, traveling with friends who don’t have children can expand your family’s horizons, challenge assumptions, and create lasting memories. Their perspectives can make family trips more enjoyable and beneficial for both adults and kids alike.
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