As schools remain closed nationwide, a significant focus has emerged on how to keep our children engaged at home. However, there’s less discussion about who will actually take on these responsibilities. Gender roles often persist, even in the most progressive households, and it’s common for women to become the “default parent” responsible for everything from sick days to homework. So, how can we ensure that parenting duties are shared more equitably during this challenging time?
Plan Ahead
Don’t wait for the official school closure announcement to devise your strategy. If schools are still open, discuss who will handle responsibilities if they close. Here are some tips to consider as you create your plan:
- Avoid Salary Comparisons: The partner with the higher income shouldn’t automatically assume they can maintain a full-time work schedule while the lower-earning partner manages the kids.
- Create a Daily Schedule: Designate one parent as “in charge” or “on call” during certain hours, rotating throughout the day. It’s crucial to accommodate both partners’ virtual meeting schedules and ensure everyone gets their dedicated work time. Don’t forget to include meal prep in the schedule.
- Lower Your Standards: Allow your kids to watch screens when necessary. Prepare your coworkers for possible interruptions during meetings. Opt for convenience foods and be kind to one another during stressful moments.
- Alternate Sick Days: If one parent can take time off, it allows both to recharge and spend quality time with the children.
- Flexible Work Hours: If necessary, carve out work time after the kids are asleep or during nap time. But let’s not expect parents to manage two full-time roles indefinitely.
If both partners are not working remotely, some tougher trade-offs may be necessary. Consider these questions:
- Are there high-risk individuals at home? If so, can you take sick days to limit exposure? Would biking or walking to work reduce your risk more than public transportation?
- Are either of you essential workers? Can you stagger shifts to ensure at least one parent is home?
- For hourly workers, what are your hourly rates and call-off penalties? Is it possible to adjust your shifts so one parent can stay home?
- How will you manage meal planning? Can responsibilities be shared?
- If one parent is already a full-time caregiver, treat them as an employee with equal rights and responsibilities.
The upcoming weeks will undoubtedly be challenging, but fostering equality in your partnership can help mitigate feelings of resentment that may arise. Remember to lean on each other and your wider community for support. Parent and educator groups are coming together to share resources for remote learning, and connecting with others can help ease the burden of isolation.
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Summary
During COVID-19 school closures, it’s vital for parents to share responsibilities equitably to avoid traditional gender roles, ensuring that both partners participate actively in childcare and homeschooling. Planning ahead, creating a daily schedule, and communicating effectively can help families navigate this challenging time together.
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