In 2015, “Parks and Recreation” bid farewell to its beloved intern-turned-deputy director, April Ludgate, portrayed by the wonderfully quirky Aubrey Plaza. April’s evolution from a disinterested teenager to a passionate, albeit chaotic, adult is a journey we all appreciated. Thanks to the guidance of her mentor Leslie Knapp, friendships that supported her, and her romance with Andy Waffles, April thrived while maintaining her signature humor.
From her youthful angst to her relatable adult dilemmas, April shares a plethora of insights that resonate with anyone who identifies as a bit of a misfit. If you find yourself more at home with animals than with people, or if you’re the type to enjoy a quiet night in rather than a raucous party, these quotes are for you. Here are some of April Ludgate’s most memorable lines that capture her essence perfectly:
- “At least I didn’t make any new friendships.”
- “What? I love trash.”
- “Leslie said it was a ‘come as you were in the 90s’ party. I thought it meant the 1690s.”
- “I can convince small children I’m a witch.”
- “I really dislike chatting with people about stuff.”
- “I enjoy games that pit people against each other.”
- “I guess I hate most things, but you don’t seem to be one of them.”
- “Cheers to you, alcohol.”
- (While being embraced) “Ow! You’re hurting me!”
- “My initial response is to be mean to you.”
- “She’s the worst person ever. I want to explore the world with her.”
- “I maturely left anonymous comments about her online.”
- “I want to tell people what to do then send them far away from me.”
- “It’s because I’m part wolf.”
- “All wine tastes the same. If you spend more than $5 on it, you’re foolish.”
- April: “Someone will die.” Andy: “Of fun.”
- “Being an adult is terrible.”
- “I declare everything you’re saying is dumb.”
- “I want to mock foolish people while I drink. Those are my two true loves.”
- “This is my boyfriend, Derek. This is Derek’s boyfriend, Ben.”
- “Don’t try to connect with me.”
- “I wasn’t paying attention, but I strongly disagree.”
- “So, you’ve gone insane! That’s exciting.”
- “Being nice just made me feel awful.”
- Jerry: “You look wonderful.” April: “I’ll murder you a thousand times.”
- “I don’t care about that award, but I’ll win because I want his happiness wiped away.”
- “Alcohol is delightful and enjoyable.”
- “I’ll offer my famous $100 lap dances.”
- “Will this be one of those wild bachelorette parties where we get out of hand and murder someone, then take a blood oath to keep it secret?”
- “I primarily listen to German death reggae. And spooky sound records from the 1950s. And Bette Midler, of course.”
- “Step back, you.”
- High schooler: “Where did you find that dress?” April: “I was buried in it.”
- “Ann is leaving town, saying painful goodbyes. Best day of my life!”
- “Time is cash, cash is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge.”
- “She’s the heartless mother I never had… I adore her.”
- “That’s disgusting. I love it.”
- “I’ll have a glass of your priciest red mixed with your cheapest white in a dog bowl. Silly straws for everyone, please.”
- “Broaden your horizons? That’s stupid.”
- “The air is so fresh. It’s revolting.”
- “We have some house rules: no front door use, climb in through the back window. No personal phone chats. Speak to me formally in Spanish. No electricity after 6 PM. Plus, wear mascara when you watch a sad film so we can see if you cry. No noise allowed on Mondays. And no TV after breakfast.”
- “I’m going to live under a bridge and quiz people with riddles before they can cross.”
- “Ben told you to finish the website, and if you don’t, I’m going to murder you in your sleep. I know where you live—14th Street, right? (Gets quieter) I’ll get a melon baller and scoop out your eyes. Your Congressman uncle will have to buy you a dog to drag your eyeless face around. Got it? (Kisses him on the nose, then slaps him.) Do it.”
- “Beauty contests are ridiculous. But I discovered that the Miss Pawnee winner gets $600. I can be silly for $600.”
- “Hello, I’m April Ludgate. I’m 20 years old. I like people… places… and things.”
- “No, I didn’t win. But at least I didn’t make any new friendships.”
- “The air is too fresh. It’s disgusting. I can’t breathe. There’s a brook nearby that won’t stop babbling. Shut up!”
- “I’ll just forge it. I forge government documents regularly.”
- Leslie: (reads part of a speech) “What do you think?” April: “You should lose the opening line, the closing line, and all the lines in between and just meow loudly for eight minutes.”
- “I found a dead rabbit on the roadside, cut off its feet, and made it a lucky charm.”
- “Because I really don’t care what happens to them.”
- “I’ll let you in on a little secret about everyone’s job: no one knows what they’re doing. Everyone is just pretending until they figure it out. You will too because you’re awesome and everyone else is horrible.”
- “I might hate most things, but I never really seem to dislike you. So, can we spend our lives together?”
- “I wanted to mock foolish people while getting tipsy. Those are my true loves.”
- “That’s disgusting. I love it.”
- “The only things I enjoy are dogs, sleeping in, and odd birthmarks. You can’t build museums for those.”
If you enjoy April’s unique perspective, you might find our other blog posts engaging as well. Check out this one on home insemination for a deep dive into the topic. For further insights, see Make a Mom for authoritative information on home insemination kits, or explore the UCSF Center for an excellent resource on pregnancy.
In summary, April Ludgate’s quotes reflect her quirky wit and unique worldview, making her a relatable figure for those who prefer animals to people. Her humor captures the essence of being a misunderstood witch in a world that often feels overwhelming.
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