I need to collect my son from daycare at precisely 4:40 PM, which means I have to leave work by 4:30. Unfortunately, sticking to this schedule hasn’t been easy. To cut childcare costs and reduce the time our little one spends in daycare, my spouse and I have arranged our work hours to be opposite. On Mondays and Tuesdays, I’m on the clock from 8 to 5 while he works from noon to 9. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we switch roles, and my mother watches our child on Fridays, making a one-hour trek just to help us out. To qualify for the “part-time” rate at daycare, we must keep our hours under 5 per day and 20 per week. This situation creates a lot of tension, especially on Mondays and Tuesdays.
The first time I was late, it was just by a few minutes. My job can be chaotic, and while I try my best, it feels increasingly difficult to leave on time. The next time I was delayed, I arrived at 5 PM and found myself speeding to daycare, cursing everyone in my path as tears welled up. This isn’t how I want to start our evening together, so I dry my eyes and tell myself that tomorrow will be better.
But tomorrow comes, and I’m late — again. It’s nearing 5 PM, and I’m overwhelmed with anxiety on the way. Once I get home, I realize that I may not be able to keep this up. It’s not just about the tardiness; it’s also about being stuck at home without my partner until 9 PM. Spring weather in Indiana is unpredictable, and I can’t take the baby for a walk. We’ve played every game and read every book I can think of. Trips to the mall have lost their charm, too.
To compound the issue, split-shift parenting makes it tough to handle household chores. I used to take pride in keeping a spotless home, but with a baby, I’ve had to let some things slide. However, after just two days, the laundry piles up like a mountain, and I’m astonished at how many dishes we’ve used. Don’t even get me started on the hair bunnies rolling around from our dog, who also needs attention.
I miss my partner terribly. Without family nearby, date nights are a challenge. Thankfully, daycare offers one once a month, which is a small relief, but I long for our everyday interactions. I love watching him with our son, laughing and playing. Usually, by the time the late one gets home, the baby is already asleep. We do get a brief moment to catch up, but we’re often too drained to have more than a quick conversation.
I’ve shared my worries with my partner — the fear that we might grow apart if this continues and the concern that switching to full-time daycare for the sake of our relationship might somehow harm our child. Nonetheless, at least one of us is usually present for the baby. If you’re interested in more insights about parenting dynamics, check out this post on Modern Family Blog.
In summary, navigating split-shift parenting poses significant challenges, from managing schedules and household duties to maintaining a healthy relationship with my partner. The struggle is real, but I’m determined to find a balance that works for us.
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