Welcome to Ask Home Insemination Kit, your go-to advice column where our team of “experts” tackle all your burning questions about life, love, parenting, and everything in between. This week, we delve into a dilemma many expectant parents face: what happens when someone close to you claims the name you’ve cherished for your little one?
Dear Home Insemination Kit,
My cousin and I are both expecting baby girls; she’s due a few months ahead of me. Recently, she announced that she’s naming her daughter Adelina, a name that honors our grandmother. I am absolutely FURIOUS because that was the name I had set my heart on! Although we don’t see each other often, we’ve always been close, and she knows how long I’ve loved that name. I’m at a total loss as I don’t have a backup name because I was so certain about this one. It feels like she’s stolen my baby name, and I’m incredibly upset. What should I do?
First, it’s important to confront a tough reality: baby names aren’t owned by anyone. If they were exclusive, we wouldn’t have seen nearly 20,000 babies named Emma in the U.S. last year alone. As infuriated as you might feel, your cousin has every right to choose a name she loves.
If her baby hasn’t arrived yet, consider having a calm chat with her about your feelings. However, approach it with tempered expectations. She, like you, has likely envisioned her daughter with this name or may have already gone as far as decorating a nursery with it.
It’s likely that your cousin’s choice wasn’t meant to hurt you; she probably simply wanted to honor your shared grandmother. Since you mentioned that you don’t see each other often, why not embrace the idea of having both daughters share the same name? After all, it’s a family name, and the confusion would be minimal. You could always use different nicknames to differentiate them—if she chooses “Addie,” maybe you could call your daughter “Lina.”
If using the same name is completely off the table for you, consider alternatives that still carry the same sentiment. Instead of Adelina, names like Adelaide, Adelyn, or Adeline could serve as beautiful tributes. Or how about using your grandmother’s middle name?
Ultimately, you must reflect on what matters most. Is it worth creating tension with your cousin over this? Relationships with family can last a lifetime, and if you think that addressing this issue will lead to awkwardness during family gatherings, it might be best to let it go. That said, if you choose to speak up, how you approach the conversation will make a significant difference.
Rest assured, whatever name you choose for your daughter will be perfect for her. Once you hold her in your arms, you’ll see that the name you select, even if it isn’t Adelina, will feel just right.
For more insights and stories, check out this related post from our blog. If you’re looking for resources on home insemination, Make A Mom is an excellent source. Additionally, here’s a helpful guide on what to expect when undergoing your first IUI.
Summary
When someone close takes your cherished baby name, it’s essential to remember that names are not owned. Consider discussing your feelings with the person, but weigh the potential for conflict against your family relationship. You could share the name or opt for a variation that honors your grandmother while still making it your own.
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