Helping Our Children Regain a Sense of Control

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Helping Our Children Regain a Sense of Control

by Mia Thompson

Updated: April 7, 2021

Originally Published: March 26, 2020

“Ugh!” The distress was evident on the face of the child I was assisting, who was visibly overwhelmed. She had curled herself into a tight ball, retreating into the furthest corner of the room.

I handed her a visual checklist featuring various exercises aimed at addressing intense emotions—those overwhelming feelings we often refer to as “Fast and Emotional,” including anger, fear, and anxiety. I set a timer and gently encouraged her to select her preferred coping strategy before time ran out, then stepped back to observe.

Gradually, her posture began to change. She sat up straight, made eye contact with me, and pointed to a deep breathing exercise and a stress ball. I nodded in approval and handed her the squeeze ball, guiding her through a technique we call “bubble breath.”

A few minutes later, she was ready to rejoin her classmates, smiling and composed.

In today’s world, children are acutely aware of the stress that surrounds them. It’s essential to acknowledge that they might be grappling with intense emotions. By equipping them with tangible exercises and empowering them to select their preferred methods of support, we help them learn to self-regulate as independently as possible.

Here are several self-regulation strategies you might find useful:

Worry Box

Close your eyes. Imagine a box where you can safely store all your worries and fears, locking it so that not a single concern can escape. Picture what your Worry Box looks like. Is it bright and colorful? Smooth or textured? Now, envision placing everything that troubles you into this box. Once you’ve put in all your worries, close the lid and lock it tight. Those worries are now secured away, allowing you to focus on the present.

Bubble Breath

Imagine holding a bubble wand. As you exhale, be careful not to burst it! Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Inhale deeply through your nose, holding your breath for five seconds. Now, exhale gently as if blowing a large “bubble” through pursed lips, again holding for five seconds.

Finger Pull

I often tell kids, “Channel all those uncomfortable feelings into your fingers. Pull until you feel the emotion release!” Here’s how: Hold one hand palm up and the other palm down, facing each other. Touch your fingertips together (except your thumbs) and pull them apart as hard as you can. Hold this for at least five to ten seconds.

Feel Where Your Body Is

When emotions run high, it can be hard to connect with our bodies. This exercise can be soothing, as it provides deep pressure to help relax our nervous systems. Cross your hands over your shoulders and squeeze gently while saying to yourself, “Here are my shoulders.” Continue this process down to your elbows, wrists, and each finger, repeating the process for your hips, knees, ankles, and feet.

The Journal In My Mind

Sometimes, our minds are most active at night when life gets busy. This can hinder our ability to control our thoughts. Create a mental journal where you can write or sketch troubling thoughts that keep you awake. Picture the cover and pages of your journal, and imagine what you’ll use to write or draw. Once you’ve captured those thoughts, close the journal to set them aside until you’re ready to revisit them.

Mantra

Think of a recent moment that made you feel frustrated or scared. Give me a silent thumbs up when you’ve identified it! Now, let’s practice some affirming mantras:

“Oh well, maybe next time!”
“No big deal!”
“I can try again later!”
“I am awesome no matter what!”
“I am loved!”
“I am safe.”

Which one resonates with you the most?

Incorporating these strategies into daily routines can help children instinctively use them whenever the need arises. Give them a try yourself; you might be surprised at how effective they are. Sending positive vibes your way!

For further reading and resources, check out this informative blog post on emotional management, and explore this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination information. If you’re looking for professional insights, Make A Mom is a trusted authority on the subject.

Summary

In this article, we explore various self-regulation techniques that empower children to manage their emotions effectively. By providing strategies like the Worry Box, Bubble Breath, and Mantra, we can help children regain a sense of control in their lives. These practices not only support self-regulation but also foster independence.