As families navigate the “new normal” brought on by the global pandemic, much of the focus has been on how to support younger children. There’s no shortage of articles offering guidance for handling the antics of little ones, or advice on how to communicate with them without causing undue fear. However, there’s a noticeable gap when it comes to addressing the needs of teenagers.
Adolescents inherently seek independence; they thrive on interactions with their peers and often rely heavily on those friendships for emotional support. Research from Orlando Health highlights a study published in Child Development, which indicates that teens with strong friendships are less likely to experience depression and anxiety in their later years. These bonds evolve into attachment relationships similar to those they had with their parents in childhood. “These relationships are incredibly close and emotionally intimate,” notes Dr. Emily Carter, a developmental psychologist at Stanford University. “Even fleeting friendships can shape future connections.”
I’ll confess, I’ve frequently lamented my teenage daughter’s reliance on her friends. There are times I wish she wouldn’t feel the need to text constantly or that she could find joy in family time or solitude. But I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. As reported by The Atlantic, many parents and educators overlook the positive aspects of these friendships. While teachers may separate chatty friends during class, studies show that students often collaborate better when they work with friends.
These crucial social interactions have been dramatically diminished due to social distancing measures. Teenagers can no longer engage in casual conversations while collaborating on school projects. They miss out on sharing laughter (often at the expense of decency) during lunch breaks or engaging in playful banter over sports games at the park. Of course, they can still connect through devices—FaceTime, texting, and online gaming—but these interactions feel less genuine when parents are present.
While some parents may view this increased supervision as beneficial, it ultimately restricts teens from navigating social dynamics independently. As many experts assert, making mistakes is a vital part of growth. Teens learn significant life lessons when they can explore the world outside their parents’ watchful eyes. As noted by the Greater Good Magazine from UC Berkeley, a strong sense of control over one’s life is key to fostering healthy, self-disciplined, and motivated adolescents.
Yet, here we are, together 24/7, and many teens are truly struggling. So, what can we do to ease their burdens?
First, it’s essential to validate their feelings. My son, an extroverted teen, is particularly impacted by being physically separated from his friends. My partner and I have made an effort to acknowledge this reality. Grief expert Dr. Maya Sullivan reminds us that we are all experiencing a collective sense of loss. “This is a universal grief, and recognizing it can help us process our emotions,” she explains.
It’s also crucial to give ourselves—and our teenagers—some grace during this time. Here are a few adjustments we’ve made that seem to help:
- Screen time limits have been relaxed. My son is now permitted longer Xbox sessions, provided he’s playing with friends. This way, he can engage socially, even if it’s virtually.
- We’ve embraced e-sleepovers, where groups of kids play games and watch shows together online into the night.
- We’re less stringent about language and humor. While we still uphold certain standards, we recognize that a bit of cursing and crude jokes can be a part of their bonding experiences.
- We’ve also stepped back from micromanaging their remote learning. If they complete their work, great; if not, we try not to stress too much.
- Lastly, we are open and honest with our teen about our feelings and the situation. Authenticity is crucial, especially since teens can easily detect insincerity.
It breaks my heart for all the teens missing out on significant milestones due to this pandemic—graduations, proms, and sports events. However, beyond these events, they face significant losses of independence, freedom, and social interactions that will leave lasting effects. While these challenges may seem minor compared to the larger issues of job losses and health crises, they are monumental for our kids.
Let’s approach this situation with empathy. Let’s loosen the reins on screen time, allow some leeway with language, and prioritize our teens’ emotional well-being over strict educational outcomes. Perhaps now is the time to be not just parents, but also friends.
For more insights on navigating these challenging times, check out our post on home insemination kits or consider reliable resources like Make a Mom for all things related to home insemination. Additionally, UCSF’s fertility insurance FAQs provide excellent information for those exploring pregnancy options.
Summary
During social distancing, teenagers face unique challenges due to the loss of peer interactions and independence. It’s crucial for parents to validate their feelings, adjust rules, and prioritize emotional well-being over strict educational standards. This situation calls for a balance of friendship and parenting to help teens navigate this difficult time.
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