Thinking About Open Adoption? Essential Insights to Navigate Your Adoption Journey

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by Team Family First

Updated: November 8, 2021

Originally Published: April 6, 2020

Photo by Alex on Unsplash

People consider adoption for various reasons. Some may face infertility challenges, while others might be single individuals or same-sex couples looking to become parents. If you find yourself in the latter group, you might be exploring ways to expand your family through fostering or adoption. One popular choice in the U.S. is open adoption, but do you fully understand what it entails? There’s a wealth of information to uncover, including key legal guidelines and the pros and cons associated with open adoption.

Before you make any decisions about how to grow your family, it’s crucial to familiarize yourself with the details of this adoption process. To help you on this journey, we’ve compiled answers to frequently asked questions surrounding open adoption, ensuring you have all the insights you need to get started. You’re certainly not alone in your search; open adoption receives nearly 4,400 monthly inquiries, according to recent data.

We’ve created a comprehensive guide detailing the open adoption process from beginning to end, including when the adoption becomes official during pregnancy. If you feel the need for more personalized information or want to explore whether adopting a baby or an older child is right for you, consider consulting with a social worker or therapist who can provide tailored guidance.

For those interested in other types of adoption, check out our various guides on embryo, foster care, private, adult, international, transracial, step-parent, military, single-parent, Jewish, Christian, and same-sex adoption.

What is Open Adoption?

Open adoption allows birth mothers (or families) and prospective adoptive parents to know each other’s identities, fostering some level of personal interaction. This could range from sending annual email updates to celebrating birthdays together, maintaining contact through calls or texts, or even arranging visits between the adopted child and their birth parents. In open adoptions, birth parents typically have a role in selecting the adoptive parents.

How Does Open Adoption Work?

Open adoption arrangements can vary widely, tailored to the specific needs of each family. Generally, expectant mothers can meet potential adoptive parents and have a say in choosing the right fit for their unborn child. During this phase, both parties get acquainted, allowing for a discussion on how to navigate the open adoption process.

Many adoptive parents engage with the expectant mother throughout her pregnancy, experiencing the journey as if they were the biological parents. After the baby is born, the adoptive parents take on legal guardianship, while the birth mother may continue to play a role in the child’s life. The extent of this involvement can differ, but open adoptions often mean that biological parents remain active figures in their child’s upbringing, even if only in a limited capacity.

Open vs. Closed Adoption

In contrast to open adoption, closed adoption means there’s no shared identity or interaction between birth and adoptive parents, nor between the adopted child and their birth parents. There’s also a middle ground known as semi-open adoption, where contact is limited and typically facilitated through a third party, like an adoption agency or attorney. In semi-open arrangements, communication often occurs via letters or cards without identifying information.

Is Open Adoption Common?

While closed adoptions were once the standard, about 95 percent of adoptions in the U.S. now include some level of openness, with roughly 55 percent being fully open. Navigating any family situation can be complex, so maintaining open and honest communication between all parties involved is essential.

What Are the Costs Associated with Open Adoption?

The expenses for open adoptions can vary significantly, typically ranging from $15,000 to $30,000 for adoptive parents, while there are no costs incurred by the birth parents.

Pros and Cons of Open Adoption

Every open adoption is unique, meaning there’s no one-size-fits-all guide. Effective communication between birth and adoptive parents, often facilitated by agencies and attorneys, is crucial to set realistic expectations.

Potential Disadvantages:

  • Birth parents might have mixed feelings or sense of obligation towards the adoptive family.
  • Adoptive parents may feel pressured to meet the birth parents’ expectations or provide ongoing support.
  • The potential for disappointment exists if the chosen adoptive parents don’t meet the birth mother’s expectations.
  • The birth mother could use her knowledge of the adoptive family as leverage in the relationship.
  • The adopted child might feel rejected when they fully understand their adoption.

Potential Advantages:

  • Birth parents can retain a sense of control in a challenging situation, potentially easing their guilt over the adoption.
  • Open adoption allows for a relationship between birth parents and their biological child, if desired.
  • Adoptive parents can share their child’s background and provide answers to questions about their origins.
  • Birth mothers may experience less guilt knowing they can remain involved in their child’s life.
  • Adoptive parents often feel a sense of gratitude for being selected to raise the child, enhancing their emotional connection.
  • For children, having knowledge about their biological origins can provide reassurance and a sense of identity.

Can Open Adoption Be Closed?

Yes, it is possible to close an open adoption, but it’s important to weigh the potential impact on all parties involved. Closing an open adoption may hinder the healing journey for the birth parent and cut off valuable information about family history for the adopted child. Alternatives to closing an adoption should be considered, especially if safety is a concern. Transitioning to a semi-open arrangement allows for updates and contact through an agency or attorney, giving birth parents peace of mind while maintaining some connection.

What Legal Considerations Should You Be Aware Of?

Legal aspects of open adoption can differ by state, but there are key points to keep in mind. Expecting mothers must remember that their parental rights will end with the adoption process, although they can still have a role in the child’s life. In most states, the father must consent to the adoption. Importantly, nothing is finalized until after the baby is born; an expectant mother can change her mind up until that point.

How Many States Allow Open Adoptions?

Open adoption is an option in several states. Currently, nine states in the U.S. allow adopted individuals access to their original birth certificates or records, including Alabama, Alaska, Colorado, Hawaii, Kansas, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and Oregon. Other states, like Indiana and Illinois, have restrictions but allow for limited exceptions.

Resources for Prospective Parents Seeking Adoption

Starting the adoption journey can feel daunting, but knowing where to begin is crucial. We’ve compiled links to organizations that can serve as valuable resources. Conducting thorough research is essential to ensure the programs align with your values and expectations. For further insights, check out Open Adoption & Family Services or visit WebMD for an excellent resource on pregnancy.

For more information on boosting fertility, consider this fertility booster for men as a helpful resource. Reading personal stories about adoption can also provide a deeper understanding of the experience.

Summary:

Open adoption offers a unique opportunity for birth parents and adoptive families to maintain a relationship, allowing for shared experiences and knowledge about the child’s background. While there are various advantages and challenges, understanding the process, legal considerations, and potential costs is essential for prospective adoptive parents. With the right resources and support, navigating the world of open adoption can lead to fulfilling family connections.


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