During my pregnancy, my partner, Alex, was involved but not overly engaged. We agreed that he would attend only a few key doctor’s appointments:
- The initial one where the pregnancy was confirmed with an ultrasound.
- The anatomy scan at the 20-week mark.
- A later appointment due to concerns about the baby’s growth.
For most of my pregnancy, I managed things on my own—researching baby gear and setting up the nursery while Alex offered his help around the house and provided some much-needed back rubs. He did join me for the birthing and childcare class at the hospital.
Honestly, I was a bit anxious about how he would handle our baby, Lily, when she arrived. We didn’t have many babies around us, and interacting with your own child is just different from visiting relatives. There really isn’t a way to practice that until you’re in the moment!
Everything changed once we were in the hospital. Alex was incredible! He would stroll Lily around the halls so I could catch some rest. He stayed with us both nights, sleeping on a cot. He attended all her hospital appointments, from the circumcision to the hearing test. He was proactive—bringing Lily to me for feedings and eagerly asking the nurses how to change diapers, swaddle her, and give her a bath. Honestly, I think I didn’t change a single diaper until we got home and he went back to work! I felt so lucky to have him by my side.
When we got home, Alex would ask how he could assist, but I struggled to express what I really needed. After a week, I realized that I needed a shower, two decent meals, and at least one nap a day to feel somewhat normal. Once I understood this, I could communicate my needs better. He could watch Lily while I grabbed a meal or took a nap, or he could whip up dinner while I spent time with her. I didn’t mind if the house was a bit messy or if laundry piled up; those tasks were secondary to my well-being.
So, mamas, don’t hesitate to ask for help from your partner! When he checks in to see what you need, speak up. Remember, you’re in this together, and he genuinely wants to support you!
How did you ask for help during those early weeks with your baby? What was the most helpful thing your partner did during that time?
If you want more tips on navigating parenthood, check out this post on the Modern Family Blog.
In summary, getting support from your partner after the baby arrives is crucial. Open communication about your needs can make a world of difference. Don’t shy away from asking for help; it’s a team effort, and your partner is there to help you through it all.
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