“Mom, they’re canceling our classes! What if I don’t graduate?!”
The text from my daughter, Lily, chimed in just as I watched the grim announcement on the evening news. I braced myself as I climbed the stairs to her room, my heart heavy with the weight of her disappointment. But nothing could prepare me for the sight of her somber expression. It shattered me. In that moment, I did what any mother would do—I cried right alongside her.
During a global pandemic, Lily, who had faced her share of struggles in her senior year, was finally finding her footing. Just weeks before her world turned upside down, she was given the gift of time. Time to improve her grades, to complete unfinished work, to mend past mistakes. Time to bid farewell to her friends and walk the familiar halls that had shaped her social life for five years—one last time.
Fear gripped her first. The anxiety about whether she would graduate consumed her. Her primary concern wasn’t about attending a grand party in a beautiful gown; it was whether her hard work had been enough to earn that elusive diploma. The thought of graduation celebrations came later.
As a mother, my role is to comfort my children. It’s part of the job description—healing scraped knees, re-peeling carrots that taste “too carrotty,” mending broken hearts, or consoling after failed volleyball tryouts. But handling the cancellation of a senior year due to a pandemic wasn’t something I had anticipated on my mothering resume.
A few hours later, the news hit hard: “All 2020 graduation ceremonies will be canceled.” My stomach sank.
I waited for a message or the sound of her footsteps on the stairs, but there was only silence. With my hand pressed against my chest, I ascended to her room, recalling the milestones she had celebrated. Walking, her first word, her kindergarten graduation, and that catchy tune—“Our song is the slammin’ screen doors…” I remembered taking her for her driving test, her first fender-bender, and how she had blossomed into the person I always hoped she would be. How could I comfort her when I felt just as lost? I was devastated for her and mourning the loss of this shared milestone.
As I neared her bed, I hoped my attempts at positivity would carry some weight. But nothing seemed to resonate. There are no words or Hallmark cards for moments like this. Just three weeks prior, we had been shopping for prom dresses. Only two weeks ago, I met with her vice-principal to devise a plan to get her back on track. In an instant, her world had flipped.
She, like so many others, was navigating uncharted waters. Years of hard work had led her to this moment, only to see it slip away. There would be no goodbyes to her favorite teachers, no hugs exchanged with friends she had known since middle school.
No cap and gown, no stage to walk across while I ugly cried and cheered her on, and no opportunity for those awkward moments of me taking a hundred photos she would one day cherish. There would be no signing yearbooks in the empty halls, no shared memories penned by classmates to keep forever.
For Lily and many graduates of 2020, it feels as though their time has been stolen. The time it might have taken to muster the courage to ask someone to prom or to confess feelings to a crush. The time to salvage grades or catch up on missed assignments. The time spent making memories with friends during “Senior Ditch Day” or planning the best senior prank ever—these moments were stripped away from them as their high school journey came to an abrupt end.
Our kids are grieving the loss of what should have been some of the best years of their lives. They won’t have a ceremonial moment or a memorable commencement speech to guide them into adulthood. They’ll miss out on the applause and laughter shared by friends and family as they accept their diplomas.
Lily and the class of 2020 have been robbed of the closure that most of us have taken for granted—graduation. As her mother, I feel this loss deeply. Just recently, we were shopping for her dress. When she stepped out of the fitting room in a stunning gown, I felt the weight of seventeen years of parenting in that moment. My heart swelled with pride. When I learned the ceremony would be canceled, this memory was one of the first that flooded my mind. When she heard the news, it felt as if her entire world had crumbled. A rite of passage now vanished.
I comprehend that a global pandemic like COVID-19 will disrupt lives worldwide. As an adult, I recognize my privileges during this crisis. But living with a 17-year-old means witnessing her devastation. Losing her final year of high school to something she barely understands is heartbreaking. Her sorrow runs deeper than just missing prom.
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Summary
In this heartfelt reflection, a mother shares the emotional turmoil surrounding her daughter’s canceled senior year due to the pandemic. As her daughter, Lily, grapples with the loss of graduation, prom, and cherished moments with friends, the mother navigates her own grief while trying to provide comfort. The article captures the unique challenges faced by the class of 2020 and their families as they mourn the loss of traditional milestones and the memories that come with them.
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