When the pandemic struck, it became painfully clear that my mother wasn’t taking COVID-19 seriously. When schools first closed, she sighed and said, “Oh, we’ll be back in two weeks.” Less than two weeks later, she called to say she had made some soup. I assumed she would leave it on my doorstep, but instead, she showed up at my house. This was not the social distancing I envisioned.
“I can’t accept that from you,” I told her. She laughed it off, rolling her eyes as if my concern was ridiculous, and placed the pot of soup down. We chatted for a while, but she treated the six-foot distance like a joke.
“I don’t trust that she’s keeping her distance,” I confided to my partner, Mark. “I saw her pick up a package with her bare hands and just walk into the house.” Meanwhile, we had a strict protocol involving bleach and hours of sunlight for our packages, even if the risk was low.
Then, she went ahead and bought a puppy from Craigslist. She shared pictures on Facebook of her and her friend snuggling the new dog. This was not social distancing; it was the exact opposite. Despite her memes about keeping people safe, she had willingly exposed herself to whoever sold her the dog and her friend. If we were to visit her, we’d be at the mercy of their social habits.
Mark has weak lungs, and I have a health condition that compromises my immune system. We also have three kids. If we fell ill, who would look after them? Beyond that, we all have a responsibility to help curb the virus’s spread by practicing social distancing. That means steering clear of anyone not adhering to proper guidelines—period.
When Family Members Ignore Social Distancing
Facing this situation is uncomfortable. It’s more daunting than discussing sensitive topics like politics or ethics because it directly impacts the health and safety of those we love. You can’t avoid it, pretend it’s not happening, or sidestep the issue. You must take a stand.
You might need to look your relative in the eye from a distance, or communicate via phone or text: “You’re not following social distancing protocols, and that endangers not just you but your loved ones, including us. So, we can’t see you in person. We can connect through Skype or Zoom, but we can’t meet face-to-face.”
Be prepared; you might be labeled as paranoid or absurd. You might hear that it’s “not that bad” or “only as serious as the flu.” You’ll face accusations, and they might dismiss your concerns entirely.
Understanding Their Reaction
Your relative may react strongly because you’re denying them access to their grandchildren. Moreover, you’re forcing them to confront the harsh reality of COVID-19. As per predictions from CNN, peak resource use was expected around mid-April, with potential death tolls reaching into the tens of thousands. This is a staggering number according to the White House projections.
A study from the University of Washington warned that without strict measures like travel bans and business closures, the death toll could soar even higher. By insisting on social distancing, you’re making them confront a frightening truth—it’s a reality they may not want to face.
Alternative Approaches to Encourage Compliance
Instead of a confrontational approach, consider more empathetic ways to encourage compliance. Remind them that social distancing is not just about personal safety; it’s about protecting others. Rather than bombarding them with statistics, share stories about people who are vulnerable: “I worry about my neighbor because they’re at high risk, and by distancing, we can help protect them.”
According to Vox, it’s essential to get your facts straight. Use credible sources: “The CDC recommends this…” or “The WHO suggests that…” This will help them see the validity of your concerns. Instead of saying, “You should do this,” you can frame it as, “I’m staying home to protect those who might be affected by the virus, especially since I have a chronic condition.” You can also offer alternatives, like, “Need groceries? I can drop them off on your porch,” or “Let’s arrange a video call with the kids.”
Dealing with a relative who dismisses social distancing is frustrating, but it’s vital to advocate for your family’s safety. Hopefully, your efforts will encourage them to take the situation more seriously. Keep trying—lives depend on it.
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Summary: Navigating family dynamics during a pandemic can be challenging, especially when loved ones disregard social distancing protocols. It’s crucial to communicate the dangers clearly and empathetically while advocating for your family’s safety. Use credible information and personal stories to encourage compliance, and offer alternatives to maintain connections without compromising health.
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