Updated: Jan. 22, 2021
Originally Published: April 19, 2020
April brings Autism Awareness Month, and as our family enters its third week of quarantine, the presence of autism in our lives has never felt more pronounced. This uninterrupted time together has amplified our personalities, our individual quirks, preferences, and the unique challenges we face, such as self-regulation, voice modulation, and transitions. Above all, it highlights the significant impact autism has on our daily life.
My eldest child, Jake, 18, is on the autism spectrum, facing substantial challenges with cognition, speech, motor skills, behavior, and epilepsy. While I initially began writing an essay titled “How My Special Needs Son Prepared Me for This Pandemic,” I soon realized that no previous experience could truly equip us for this unprecedented situation. A friend with a 16-year-old son who has autism texted me in desperation: “How are we going to get through this?” Honestly, I don’t have the answers.
As healthcare professionals across the nation bravely risk their lives, and local communities rally to support them with meals and supplies, my focus is on managing Jake’s needs while his younger siblings attend online classes. When my sons first learned they would be homeschooling indefinitely, their immediate concern was, “How will this work with Jake at home?” They are all too familiar with the disruption and unpredictability autism brings to our household.
I empathize with their anxiety as deeply as I understand Jake’s confusion in this bewildering scenario. Jake doesn’t grasp the concept of a “pandemic” or why his school is closed. On the first day of cancellation, I tried to explain that the school needed cleaning to keep everyone safe. As days turned into weeks, I told him that people in our area were falling ill from a virus, prompting his teachers to encourage everyone to stay home to prevent sickness and hopefully return to school soon. “When?” he asks. I have no answer.
As a parent navigating this uncharted territory, I find myself learning how to explain the inexplicable while providing comfort. Despite the chaos, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve faced similar challenges before. As my sons mourn the loss of their routines and sports seasons, I echo the words that special needs parents often tell themselves: “I know this isn’t ideal. It’s not what we wanted, but there aren’t many alternatives, so let’s just make the best of it.”
Like everyone else, we are scrambling to regain our footing and rewrite the routines that we depend on. We all yearn for a return to normalcy, but our “normal” has never been typical. Jake has always needed a structured daily schedule to navigate his days. Now we must dig deeper to identify what brings us joy and keeps us motivated. Daily meals, walks with his service dog, Luna, and the occasional surprise from caring friends have become our anchors. Their thoughtful gestures, like leaving books on porches for Jake to discover, are the small joys we cling to today. I am profoundly grateful for this lesson in gratitude that autism has imparted.
Following Jake’s lead, we celebrate sunny days and anticipate upcoming holidays. He marks his calendar by events like Easter. On our last trip to the store, as shoppers rushed past us wearing masks, Jake debated whether to choose a blue or pink bunny headband. Enchanted by the vibrant displays of seasonal treats, he remained blissfully unaware of the chaos around us. He returned home with a carefully selected green Easter basket and a headband with ears standing tall, bringing smiles to his brothers’ faces.
While having a special needs child has not prepared me for this pandemic, autism has taught us to cherish the people and moments that bring us joy, reminding us that nothing lasts forever—whether good or bad. So, we take a deep breath, make our lists, and hope for sunny days, knowing we must be flexible through rain or shine. For more supportive content, check out this post on home insemination. You can also visit Make A Mom for authoritative information on home insemination, and Resolve for excellent resources about pregnancy options.
In summary, the pandemic has magnified the challenges of raising a child with autism, but it has also reinforced the importance of gratitude and adaptability in our lives.
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