I see you, mama. I see you burning the midnight oil in that softly lit office after you’ve said goodnight to your little ones. I notice you sinking into your couch, surrounded by stacks of papers, your laptop precariously balanced on the armrest, and pens jostling for space in your messy bun. I see the textbooks and articles cluttering your kitchen table, competing with sippy cups and crayons for precious real estate.
Mama, I witness your late nights and early mornings, all in pursuit of that looming paper deadline or a post for the discussion board. I see you flipping through flashcards at your daughter’s softball game, squeezing in study time, or racing from your clinical shifts to catch the school bus just in time. I recognize your choice to brew coffee at home, opting for the savings to invest in textbooks instead of that Starbucks run, and I know how you’ve had to turn down yet another birthday party to carve out time for reading.
I see the tough conversations with your partner about juggling time, finances, and child care. I see the emails you send to your professor, requesting an extension because a sick child kept you up all weekend. I see you sitting in that lecture hall, when all you want is to be home for dinner with your family, or glued to your computer screen when cuddling up for the umpteenth round of Frozen II would feel so much better.
I’m right here beside you, mama. I’m approaching the finish line of my PhD journey—an eight-year odyssey that began before motherhood blessed my life with two beautiful daughters, and with a third on the way. My outlook has transformed dramatically since becoming a mother.
The guilt I feel about the time devoted to my studies often weighs heavily on me, as it translates to moments away from my kids. I’ve sacrificed other pleasures to compensate for that lost time. The Sunday spin class I once cherished? I couldn’t justify going after a late night at the library. Friday nights with friends? I passed on those, knowing that a late night out might leave me groggy the next day, hindering my focus on schoolwork.
In this process, I’ve experienced times where I felt utterly lost. Over these eight years, I’ve shed tears and shared laughter, accomplished great feats of productivity, and endured dry spells of inactivity. I’ve lost my passion only to rediscover it along the way. Now, as I approach the end and reflect on how this experience has shaped both me and my family, I want you to know that you are not alone.
I see the tears that fall on your steering wheel after leaving a child who wanted you to stay. I see your frustration when you catch tiny hands typing on your laptop after just a moment of distraction. I see you doubting whether you can finish your degree and if the sacrifices are truly worth it. But remember this—behind those tears, I also see determination. I see a fierce passion. I see the spark that propels you onward.
Your children are watching you, no matter their age. They may experience their own moments of sadness and frustration, but they’re also absorbing lessons in perseverance, hard work, time management, and patience. They see you pursuing a passion that means the world to you. They witness your goal-setting and prioritization to achieve your dreams. They see you struggle, and that’s perfectly okay—they’re learning how to navigate their own challenges through your example.
So keep pushing forward, mama. I know balancing school with motherhood is incredibly tough. You might feel selfish at times, overwhelmed, or even ready to throw in the towel. And trust me, I understand the exhaustion that feels insurmountable. But remember, this is just a season—a phase that will eventually pass.
You can do this. You will complete your studies. You’ll submit that paper and walk across that stage, and while you do, your children will be watching, learning from you every step of the way. For more tips and support, check out this insightful post on home insemination.
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Summary
This heartfelt note acknowledges the struggles of mothers pursuing their education while juggling family responsibilities. It highlights the sacrifices made, the perseverance shown, and the invaluable lessons being imparted to their children through their hard work and determination.
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