Please don’t tell me it’s a wasted school year. If you think that, you clearly don’t live with a Tiger Dad.
I was raised by one, and somehow, I ended up marrying another. My father, a true Tiger Dad, was born and raised in Kolkata. He immigrated to the U.S. with just a few dollars to his name, initially living in a YMCA in Manhattan. He worked his way up from being a janitor to becoming a Fortune 500 executive.
For him, mastering mathematics was paramount. Nothing else mattered—friends, toys, or weekend sleepovers were all secondary. My summers were filled with bike rides, freeze tag, and the occasional popsicle, but they also included flipping through math books. If I was finishing fourth grade, he’d hand me the fifth grade book to complete over the summer. When school resumed, I was expected to ace every math test.
I didn’t realize this was classic Tiger Dad behavior until I read Amy Chua’s book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. The stereotype of the Tiger Mom often portrays an overbearing Chinese mother, pushing her child to excel academically. However, you don’t have to be Chinese to embrace Tiger parenting.
For my dad, summers were essentially wasted time. For my husband, Leo, the same applies to the pandemic.
“They’re going to fall behind!” Leo roars as he juggles multiple Zoom calls while I’m trying to manage my own work. He frantically prints out assignments and tapes schedules to our kids’ virtual classrooms. After work, he obsessively uploads completed tasks onto Google Classroom. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to keep the household running.
“Missing Spanish class!” he bellowed last week as he dashed upstairs. I muted my conference call and pretended to panic, only to grab a bag of potato chips instead.
I often wonder if Tiger Parenting is genetic. If it is, it seems to have skipped a generation in my family, which explains why I’ve embraced my inner Sloth Mom.
I’m not the first to call myself a Sloth Mom, but in these pandemic times, the term has taken on new meaning. And guess what? I’m thriving as a Sloth Mom during COVID-19.
Leo is against any screen time. Our evenings often culminate in chaos, with him wrestling our seven-year-old, Jake, for the remote. Meanwhile, I’m on the couch, cuddling with our four-year-old, Lily, while Leo sleeps in his den, careful not to wake him.
He believes that every single homework assignment must be completed without exception. On one occasion, Jake worked until 8 PM on a U.S. history assignment, while I dozed off on the couch after indulging in a can of cider.
Leo also has a strict no-sugar policy. “Who gave her that lollipop? How many fruit snacks did they eat?” he growls, while I just shrug and snack on chocolate chips as a reward for surviving the day.
While Leo’s goals include raising future leaders like Senator Kamala Harris, my aim is much simpler: to nurture kind, happy human beings who can eventually leave the nest by age 21. I just want to make it through this pandemic without pouring myself a drink at noon.
I fantasize about a world where both of us embrace Sloth parenting, lounging together on the couch, sharing snacks, and letting the kids entertain themselves.
As I chat with my mom friends, one decides to take a spontaneous half-day off from assignments. Another bakes cookies with her kids, while yet another opts for a family nap. Oh, how I crave a daytime snooze! But alas, we have an afternoon art class to attend; after all, we’re raising the next Picasso!
On most days, I’m grateful for Leo’s Tiger Dad approach. I know our kids will be ready for kindergarten and third grade come fall. There’s no lost school year in our home.
For now, we take things a day at a time. I’m not focused on winning today’s small battles but rather on winning the long-term war. I even negotiated some extra screen time to watch Cinderella this week—thank you, Disney+!
Let’s just hope Leo doesn’t turn on us and go full Tiger Dad. Meanwhile, I’ll retreat to my cozy corner for a quick nap.
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