Parenting
By Jamie Rivers
Updated: April 28, 2020
Originally Published: April 28, 2020
I genuinely believe my son might just be the messiest child on the face of the earth. Sure, most kids have a knack for creating chaos, but in my decade as a full-time caregiver and as a mother of three, I’ve encountered only a handful who possess an innate sense of neatness. Maintaining a tidy space is a learned skill, and I understand that well.
Yet, some children take messiness to an entirely different level. The universe has blessed me with one of those exceptional kids.
This little whirlwind, I tell you, is a handful.
It’s not that he orchestrates massive messes daily; he’s not the type to dump flour everywhere to craft a snow angel or use peanut butter for an impromptu mural. His chaos lacks the epic storytelling potential that makes for great anecdotes. No embarrassing videos to share on social media here. Instead, he just leaves a barrage of tiny messes in his wake, like a modern-day Hansel or Gretel—except instead of breadcrumbs, he leaves behind a trail of toys and clutter.
Need to locate Jack? Just follow the path. Navigate past the scattered LEGO bricks on the kitchen table, around the colorful chaos of crayons and coloring books in the living room, and over the mountain of toys that have been overturned in search of one elusive item.
You’ll eventually find him sprawled out in his bedroom, engrossed in an episode of his favorite show, blissfully unaware of the disaster surrounding him. We attempt a nightly cleanup, but within an hour of waking up, his room resembles a human hamster cage again. It’s a constant battle against the clutter.
My seven-year-old’s messiness has prompted my four-year-old to devise his own organizational system in their shared space. He’s taken to using baskets and jars to safeguard his prized possessions, carrying them around to avoid losing them in his brother’s chaotic vortex. “Check out this awesome collection! Isn’t it neat? Just don’t touch it so I can find it!”
It’s not just toys, either. My messy child will leave dirty clothes on the floor, merely inches away from the waiting hamper. Close enough is apparently good enough for him. Finding two matching shoes without a lengthy search is nothing short of miraculous. I’ve reminded him countless times to put them directly into his closet, but unless I’m there to prompt him, those shoes will end up wherever he decides to remove them.
One morning, I woke up early to clean the bathrooms before the kids stirred. Just moments after Jack woke up, he managed to spill toothpaste all over my freshly cleaned counter. He didn’t even realize it until I pointed it out. After bath time, the floor looks like a small lake, and I worry about the state of my baseboards.
He never puts his dishes in the sink—ever. If he makes a snack, there’s a zero percent chance he’ll clean up afterward. I have to remind him every single time, without exception.
He brings in mud each time he steps outside, and I’ve surrendered to the idea of clean floors. They may look spotless on Saturday mornings, but any other day? Forget it. Cleaning up after my little tornado could easily qualify as a full-time job, and I simply don’t have the energy for it.
To clarify, I do have a mat for wiping shoes and a boot tray by the door. I really am doing my best to foster tidiness! But my son seems to have messy woven into his DNA.
Despite all of this chaos, he’s incredibly sweet and obedient. When I ask him to tidy up, he does so without a fuss. He has daily chores, and while I need to nudge him to complete them, he always comes through. It’s not that he’s lazy or rebellious; he just seems immune to the mess he’s creating. He’s like Pigpen from Peanuts, but instead of dirt and flies, his cloud is composed of toys, clothes, and snack wrappers.
I must confess—he gets this messiness from me. I understand how his mind works because I was that child myself. I spent my days trying to get my room clean while wondering why my parents cared so much about it. The disorder didn’t bother me at all, and I was perfectly content digging through piles to find what I needed.
Like my son, I was creative, intelligent, and free-spirited. I eventually learned how to clean up after myself, and now I prefer a tidy home. It’s something I’ve developed over time, and I recognize that my son is on a similar journey.
He’s a bright kid with a mind brimming with ideas, always eager to dive into new adventures. That’s likely why cleaning up after the last project doesn’t register as a priority for him. He’s already racing off to his next escapade, leaving behind the peanut butter smeared knife on the kitchen table.
Usually, Jack goes to school, where his mess-making talents are equally evident. His teacher once sent me a photo of his desk, and I must say, the mess was quite impressive.
With school now canceled due to COVID-19, he’s home 24/7, and our living space is not an expansive mansion. We simply don’t have the room for all the little piles of stuff he leaves behind. In no time, our home can transform from manageable to utter chaos. Our new baseline is “somewhat livable,” and it doesn’t take much for it to spiral into complete disarray.
Older moms often tell me I’ll look back on this fondly. I beg to differ. I’ll cherish these chaotic years, but I don’t feel any sentimental attachment to the dirty dish sitting on the table hours after breakfast. I can appreciate the beautiful messes of childhood without romanticizing every single one of the annoyingly messy moments.
My sweet, imaginative boy can’t just continue to sprinkle his clutter around the house like confetti. It’s time for me to teach him about tidiness, and with homeschooling in full swing, he’s about to receive a crash course in home economics.
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Summary
This article humorously chronicles the life of a parent raising a notoriously messy child. It explores the chaos that ensues daily, the unique organizational strategies of siblings, and the insights into the child’s personality. The author reflects on her own childhood messiness and acknowledges the need to instill tidiness in her son, all while navigating the challenges of parenting during a pandemic.
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